No Regret…Leave it all on the Field

Posted: June 7, 2011 in Inspirational, Tough Times
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Many years ago I heard an athlete, who had just lost a huge game, being interviewed by a reporter. This reporter asked the tough question “So what’s it going to be like living with all the regret of losing this big game?” The athlete immediately snapped back, “regret!, I don’t have any regret, I left it all on the field…” I know all of us have heard that expression before but I found it to be a very good preface for this particular blog. Regret…tough word for some of us because of broken relationships or worse yet, maybe a harsh word spoken to a parent that is now deceased…Words that can never be taken back…Very painful…Regret at it’s highest level of pain…

Along this same thought, I found this article recently written by a hospice nurse who compiled this list of the top 5 regrets that people confess on their death-bed. She wrote this last year but frankly, this one to be timeless because it affects everyone. When I read this article…it caused me to think and that is exactly the reason I am sharing it with you…Please consider these 5 regrets as you live your own life…

By Bonnie Ware

1.   I wish I’d had the courage to live life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to
choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try to honor at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.

2.   I wish I didn’t work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed
deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3.    I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a
result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly,in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4.     I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved.Everyone misses their friends when they are dying. It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip.But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks,love and relationships.

5.    I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them
pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Guys, please do what you can to make peace with your past. Remember the words of Isaiah in Chapter 43:18-19,

Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing, Now it springs up, do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.

While you are all still on this earth, and young enough to make things right…humble yourself and do just that…as someone who has lost a child, you never know what your future holds. I will tell you this…It takes a bigger man to be humble and do the right thing, than to walk away all puffed up…

Do whatever you can to avoid living your life without regret…Leave it ALL on the field of life…

Until next time, God Bless You

Letter to my Son, the College Graduate…

Posted: May 25, 2011 in Father, Inspirational
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Almost 22 years ago, God blessed me with a son of my very own. When I was growing up, I wanted to be the father of a son because I thought I could better connect with a boy however when my daughter was born, everything changed. Maybe wanting a boy first wasn’t so strange because I have known other fathers who, while waiting for children of their own, felt the same way I had. 

Nevertheless, when you were born son, I was the happiest guy on the planet. People laughed at me when I got you your first baseball glove at your one-year-old birthday party. Why are you looking at me like that? I had to get you thinking about baseball, right? As you began to grow, I could see that you had a natural affinity to play the game as well as be a busybody. You weren’t a “sit still” type of kid and that was just fine with me because I wouldn’t have had you any other way.

When I look back on your young life, I see the amazing things that happened to you that still cause me to shake my head. While some of them involve sports and your individual performances, many of them involve how I saw you react and behave as you were growing up to be the quality man you are today. 

I wish God allowed our memories to be forever clear no matter how old we get but that is just not the case. We lose some along the way but hopefully remember the ones that are the most meaningful to us. I also think God allows some of the painful ones to disappear but I digress, I am talking to you, the Biola University graduate. 

The same guy who has persevered these last 4 years to make it to this great day. The day when you get to walk across that podium, wearing cap and gown, and receive that diploma and say “I did it!” But I would be remiss if I didn’t take the time and speak just a little about what it means to me to be your Dad.

Every Dad wants their son to grow up and be successful, but sometimes the road traveled can be more than many can bear. Life isn’t easy as our family has personally experienced the tragic loss of your sister, but yet from my vantage point, you stood your ground and fought the fight of grief that was presented to you. I know that fight is not over, but yet you carry your load with dignity and for that, I applaud you son because that is not an easy task. But let’s talk some more about you…

I want to go back for a moment and remind you of some things I remember from your life…

  • Do you remember that basketball game you played in the sixth grade where you couldn’t miss a shot? Do you remember how the referee stopped the game and asked you to send some luck his way because of the night of shooting you were having? I may be wrong, but didn’t you score 30 points that night? I still laugh in amazement.
  • Do you remember your performance as a high school senior in the city-wide Lions Tournament? In 5 games, you batted over .700? Your team won and you were voted the MVP of the whole tournament.
  • Do you remember all the big roles you had in the musical productions you were in 5th and 6th grade?
  • Do you remember making the All-Star team your first year in Little League and working so hard that they made you a starter over the older boys?

In my mind, those are great memories but it’s even more gratifying to see you now, a University graduate about to set out on your journey of life. You have learned to work hard because as you have seen, good grades don’t magically appear…they are earned. You have had to learn to multi-task to be successful in college and that talent will serve you well in life.

You have learned to live away from your mom and me from day one, which I know was important to you; to establish your own identity at college. Guess what? You succeeded. During your college career, you persisted, and now as a senior, what is it like having the freshman look up to you?

Over the last 4 years you have dealt with and persevered through car problems, girl problems, priority issues, homework, late nights, early mornings, roommates, crazy roommates, loneliness, grief, exhaustion, money problems, parents, distance, loyalty, laundry, cooking, cleaning, deadlines, fear, relationships, and the list goes on…all of this while maintaining your integrity. 

For all of these reasons and many more, I tell you son that as your father, I could not be any prouder of you than I am right now. Did you make mistakes? Yep, and we all do (and continue to do so) but yet you kept and (keep) on getting back up and forging ahead. Your uncle calls that fortitude, or having “gravel in your gut”…and I agree with him. That “never say die” mentality is what will propel you to success in any goal you set your eyes on reaching.

So here is my advice to achieve a satisfying life…

No matter what LIFE throws in your path. No matter what pain you may have to bear. No matter what suffering you may have to endure, or hardships…OR likewise…no matter what successes you may enjoy. 

No matter what happiness you may be blessed with…NEVER, EVER take your eyes off of Jesus Christ. 

For you to endure anything in your future son, either good or bad, you must trust in Him even when your mind says to do something else. As I have learned through the death of your sister, sometimes we are not meant to understand the “why” part, our job is to trust Him completely…your job, as the future head of your home, is to trust Him completely as well…

22 years ago, God blessed me with a son and he grew up to be you. You. Well, you turned out to be an amazing blessing and I believe with all my heart that God has awesome things planned for you. Just take that first step, just like you have always done…

I Love You Son and I am truly blessed that God chose me to be your Father…

Your Dad

Pride vs. Humility, You get to choose…

Posted: May 10, 2011 in Heaven Bound
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If you’re like me, the older I get, the more I learn, and the                                                                                    more I learn, the more I realize I don’t know…but that’s another blog…This article is about my continuing revelation of how God constructed this whole “personal relationship with Jesus” and why I think it’s so hard for men to stay consistent. Newsflash, yours (and mine) personal relationship with Jesus Christ must begin with humility first…Yes, I said Humility. But the problem is that “being humble” works directly against how we feel about ourselves while we live on earth. Face it guys, it is tough to be humble, not to mention you and I see pride and ego exhibited everyday of our lives. A baseball player hits a monster home run and he just stands there and admires it as it leaves the ballpark…A body builder stands in front of the mirror and just stares…at himself…I could go on and on…

We live in such a “Me, all about my ego” focused world so as a result, it’s very easy to assimilate into that culture as Christian men because that is what we are surrounded by. Honestly guys, if you get up each day and don’t think about your relationship with Christ and just plow into your day with you at the helm, I can truly say you will find yourself falling victim to prideful behavior. Listen to how The Message translation of the Bible talks about this in Proverbs 16:18, First pride, then the crash – the bigger the ego, the harder the fall. That is pretty self-explanatory isn’t it?. God doesn’t have any place for pride or egos in His Kingdom. It’s all about HIM.

What you and I see around us here on earth was NOT the plan God had in mind for us…sin got in the way and it corrupted everything from early on (Genesis 3 to be exact). As hard as this may be to grasp, pride is NOT from God. It was NOT created by God, rather it is from Satan and he is the one selling that crap to all of us through things we see on television, or online, or at the gym…Its everywhere conditioning you slowly…Pride IS a wall keeping you from a relationship with God and blocks your ability to communicate with Him. Once you reach a point that you are so full of yourself that you don’t think you need God, then he has you right where he wants you…and Guys, if you have read Revelation, that is NOT a place you want to be.

Why am I writing about this? The main reason is I care about you guys. Remember the Bible also tells us in James 4:10 to Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. As I have told you before, NOW IS THE TIME to get right with God Guys! You can see the signs all around you just as easily as I can. The time is short and Satan is working overtime to pull as many men and their families down as he can. Where do you plan on spending eternity?

I am NOT being melodramatic about this topic either. The signs are clear if you take the time to read and understand them. PLEASE…Do not let your ego be the reason you walk away from what I am telling you. You maybe very good at something…your job, or a sport, or something else..but that skill is a gift from God and if you thank Him for it rather than act like it came from you we just might be playing a pick up game on that Heavenly court in the sky…I’ll meet you there…

My many trips to Home Depot…

Posted: May 7, 2011 in Husband, Just for Fun
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I wanted to change things up towards the lighter side with this post and I just couldn’t resist this article because I know we have ALL been there along our journey. I cannot take credit for this, and I have no idea who wrote it, but it just is so true…Enjoy.

Alright, so we have all been there at some point, you are in the middle of some kind of project around the house – mowing the lawn, putting up a new fence, painting the living room, or whatever. You are hot, sweaty, and covered in dirt or paint.  You have your old work clothes on:  Shorts with a hole in the crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes.  Right in the middle of this great home-improvement project you realize you need to run to Home Depot to get something to complete the job.  Depending on your age you might do the following:

In your 20’s:
Stop what you are doing.  Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes.  Check yourself in the mirror and flex.   Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane.  And you went to school with the pretty girl running the register.

In your 30’s:
Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt.  Change shoes.   You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair.  Check yourself in the mirror.  Still got it.  Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell.  The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.

In your 40’s:
Stop what you are doing.  Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts.  Put on different shoes and a hat.  Wash your hands.  Your bottle of Brute Cologne is empty so you don’t want to waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot.  Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing.  The spicy young thing running the register is your daughter’s age and you feel weird thinking she is pretty.

In your 50’s:
Stop what you are doing.  Put a hat on; wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt.  Change shoes because you don’t want to get dog crap in your new sports car.  Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it.  Then you remember the hat you have on is from Buddy’s Bait & Beer Bar and it says, “I Got Worms.”

In your 60’s:
Stop what you are doing.  No need for a hat anymore.  Hose the dog crap off your shoes.  The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50’s.  You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants.  The girl running the register may be cute, but you don’t have your glasses on so you aren’t sure.

In your 70’s:
Stop what you are doing.  Wait to go to Home Depot until the drugstore has your prescriptions ready, too.  Don’t even notice the dog crap on your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather.

I hope you enjoyed the humor of this guys because bottom line, we are all getting older but through the grace of God, even though our bodies aren’t what they used to be, we have huge reasons to be hopeful for the future. Jesus is alive and well and we must continue to tap into Him for Ironman Strength.

More posts to come…

Work Ethic…Pass it on

Posted: April 30, 2011 in Father, Inspirational
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I’m old-fashioned in certain ways. It’s kind of funny being close to 50 and making that statement but I really think it is true for at least one thing; work ethic. Do you know what I mean when I say work ethic? I’m talking about what is inside you, that inner part of you that makes you…you. Some people call it fortitude, and some call it gravel in your gut. I’m old-fashioned, I call it, an honest day’s work for an honest day’s pay. That’s pretty simple I think…but apparently it’s not because today’s job work ethic isn’t the same as it used to be. Anyone who supervises people knows what I am referring to here. More and more, people don’t have any vision for their future. They prefer to perform the “eight and skate” mentality and the eight hours they are present? are debatable at best.

Guys, this is NOT a political blog and I plan on keeping it that way but what I am saying is as Fathers, it is our responsibility to teach work ethic in the home. That means, for example, holding our kids accountable for various responsibilities around the house. Now please, don’t misunderstand me here. I am not telling you how to do your job at work or at home. I am simply pointing out that from my vantage point, the mentality of approaching work is changing in America, and frankly, I don’t like it very much. Unfortunately, I believe that “work ethic”, or, that getting up in the morning and getting on your knees and giving God the day and then going to work and giving your best, is a dying philosophy.

Now I know there are a lot of you out there that are unemployed and for that I am sorry but as I have stated in previous blogs, keep your eyes focused on Christ, keep trusting in Him, and He will see you through this trial in your life. In fact, read my previous “You are not Alone” blog post for more of the above. As I was saying, many of you who are unemployed would simply love the opportunity to prove your work ethic but you understand what I am writing about here. We need to teach our children that is imperative they give their best effort, no matter what job they are doing. Remember the Bible talks about Colossians 3:17;
And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
I know, I know, that is BRUTAL sometimes. But as hard as that is to exemplify, as fathers, that’s our job in our homes because our kids are watching us. Show them what’s really inside you. Show them the example of your strong work ethic each day by doing your best at your job and then helping them to understand why they need to do the same thing.

Let me tell you a short story about my eight-year-old son Kendrick. Like many of you, we have a dog at our house who every day, multiple times a day, does her business outside on what used to be my green lawn (sorry, I digress) Kendrick’s job is to take care of the dogs business every Saturday and of course, he forgets, or he doesn’t want to, or he is too busy…You know the drill, kid excuses. One day I sat him down and asked him if he thought he was doing a good job at his Saturday duties and he told me “Yes, he was happy with his effort” (paraphrased) I proceeded to tell him that if he worked for me, I would have to fire him for that “effort, or lack thereof” and that surprised him. Now, you can’t fire your kid so don’t get any ideas, but I did remind him that it’s our job to do our best every time we work…

The same holds true for you and me. As men, it’s our job to not only work hard and give our employer an honest day’s work for an honest day’s pay, but every day, we need to show our kids the same thing. One of the greatest satisfactions for me as a father was getting the opportunity to speak to my oldest son’s former employer and having him tell me he is a hard worker and that he is never worried about leaving him on his own unsupervised because he knew he would still continue to work hard, even when the boss wasn’t around.

Guys, that needs to be our testament to ourselves as men and to our children. I challenge you to build a strong work ethic in your family.

God Bless you guys…

Whatever happened to Normal?

Posted: April 22, 2011 in Husband, Inspirational, Tough Times
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If you’re like me, you may spend a little time each day catching up on world news or maybe your favorite sports team because as guys, we like to know what is going on, right? Is it me, or does it seem that right now, more than any other time in our lifetime, that the World, and America, is just out of control? It’s like what is wrong is now right and whats right, is now wrong…That’s the way it appears to me. Today I read online that a man in New York City broke up a fight happening in a McDonald’s restaurant and 10 minutes later, someone killed him for it…? I am completely dumbfounded…? When did the switch get flipped so that right and wrong are backwards? This kind of lunacy is now the everyday normal and you, me, and every other Christian family has to deal with this craziness.

Guys, I wish I had a good answer to help you with what we see going on around us but the reality is that Satan is alive and well on this earth…for now. He thinks he’s in charge and he is ramping up his attacks on humanity because frankly, I believe, the time we have left on earth is short.

Take a look at 2 Corinthians 4:3-4, where it says:

And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.

Satan is actively working to keep unbelievers still unbelievers, and to turn believers into unbelievers…He wants to take as many of us down with him as he can. Why? Because he HATES you. He absolutely LOATHES you and is working this very minute to to take you down, permanently. He is lying in wait looking for someone to consume…Maybe you, or someone in your family?

Remember 1 Peter 5:8?

Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

He also wants to present you with 1000 reasons why you shouldn’t proceed down the narrow path…Maybe that means cheating on your wife? Or spending time with pornography? I could go on and on…You will continually have these types of major roadblocks thrown in your path as a Christian man. He wants you to fail and to do that he will find your weakness and make it very easy for you to fall. In fact, it will be so subtle that you may think, ”Aaah…just this once, no one will know and really, just this once”…Guess what? HE HAS GOT YOU! Look up above at that verse…It says, Be self-controlled and ALERT. Remember, sin is subtle. It slowly creeps into your life and worms its way into your inner most thoughts…

Guys, I will not lie to you…It is HARD to resist temptation… but I will give you a reason from Christ to keep on resisting:

Matthew 7:13-14

Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

Where do you fit into all of this? Are you disgusted with what you see around you or are you assimilating into the culture? Do you find all of this harder and harder to deal with or do you just not understand what the big deal is about? Guys, I challenge you to remember that the enemy is out there waiting to destroy you, and anyone else who is dear to you…I challenge you to keep your eyes on Christ and to simply hold on tight…HE WILL NOT LET GO OF YOU…

You are Not Alone…

Posted: April 16, 2011 in Father, Husband, Inspirational
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I had lunch with a friend of mine this past week because we hadn’t seen each other in a couple of months and we wanted to reconnect. I knew this particular friend has had a tough go of things lately. He had been in and out of jobs for the last 4 years due to no fault of his own. He was in a business that was simply more susceptible to the economy than most. What struck me though, was how far this guy had fallen. Just so you understand, my friend has a way about him that is infectious. He is FUN to be around and we both enjoy teasing our older kids. Our families enjoy one another…He is an all around great guy however, the guy I had lunch with this week, was NOT the same man. This guy was broken and he is angry at God for constantly being out of work. His children are grown up and away at college so he finds himself alone most of the time which only make matters worse. He told me he still goes to church on Sundays, but he doesn’t listen anymore. He feels as if God has abandoned him…

I know there are a great deal of men, just like my friend, who feel this same way. They continually ask themselves, “whats the point?” “Why am I going through this?”, “ I AM ALONE”.

Guys, as one who has walked in the valley of the shadow of despair at the loss of my only daughter Kylie, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! God will never leave you or forget you! You DO have someone to hold onto during your storm and his name is Jesus Christ. The purpose of this article is to remind…and to encourage you if you happen to be in this place also.

Lets start with the Bible, Gods Word, here on earth, given to us. I’ve heard guys say, “those are just words, what can they do for me right now when I’m in the middle of this?” Trust me, they are not just words, they are power and strength you, and your family, can tap into during the tough times.

Proverbs 3: 5-6 tells us to:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.

What these verses tell me is their will be things that happen in our lives that we won’t understand…It wont make any sense. Can you tell me why God decided to take my beautiful 12-year-old daughter? I don’t get that and I never will but I’ve come to realize that my trying to understand why?…that is NOT my job. My job is to completely trust in Him…even though I don’t understand why. Do you remember the story of Peter when he got out of the boat and started walking on the water to meet Jesus? (Matthew 14:29-30) He was actually walking on water until he took his eyes off of Christ and then what happened? He started sinking fast…and what was his reaction? He cried, “Lord save me!” which is exactly what we are supposed to do…

But maybe that is the crux of the problem. We are guys and we don’t need any help…Isn’t that right? Well I can tell you that David, one of the greatest warriors that ever lived in history, he didn’t feel that way. In fact David ran for his life for over 10 years because Saul was out to kill him but yet he still said this in Psalms 31: 13-14:

For I hear the slander of many; there is terror on every side; they conspire against me and plot to take my life. But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, “You are my God.”

What I am saying is this…Now is the time to set your eyes on Him. Don’t waver. Look up to heaven and say “Lord, I do NOT understand any of this crap that is happening to me. I am struggling mightily with all of this everyday…But I know this, You are on the throne and You don’t make mistakes and even though this (whatever “this” is for you) makes no sense, I am going to keep my eyes fixed on You and my trust completely in You so that whatever happens, we are in this together and we will get through this…together…

Guys, I’m not an evangelist or a Bible scholar who teaches in a university…I’m just a regular guy, like you, trying to make my way in this world. My answers are not scholarly, they are from my heart from reading God’s word and they have helped me during my own pain on this earth. I know many of you out there are hurting and please understand that my words are meant to encourage you. You can make it through this and I will continue to pray that God draws near to you during your time of need…

Be strong my brother…”weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning”…

Yep, you guessed it, David said that too…

Let me leave you with one more thing:

Thats my King…Dr. S.M. Lockridge

Posted: March 30, 2011 in Inspirational
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Guys…this is just plain old fashioned and I admit that…but I also have to say that this short 3 minute video is the best description I have ever heard given about Jesus Christ in my entire life. This man can bring the gospel at a level we need right now.  He truly TELLS IT LIKE IT IS…

S.M. Lockridge, was a prominent African-American Pastor of Calvary Baptist Church located in San Diego, California from 1953 to 1993. He passed away back in 2000.

Please have a listen…if this one doesn’t stir your heart…check your pulse…

I truly hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. Stay tuned for the next post…God Bless…

Where Have All the Men Gone?

Posted: March 26, 2011 in Father, Husband
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My 8 year old son asked me to watch a program with him on the Disney channel the other day and so I thought, ”why not?”. “This could be a great Father, son bonding moment right?” so I plopped myself down next to him and we watched his show. 10 minutes into it however, I was shocked! Now, I’m not bagging on Disney, but the father in this show was an idiot, or at least being portrayed as one. He didn’t know anything and his children didn’t respect him. What irritated me the most however, was his relationship with his wife. He was a subservient wimp who required her approval before he could make a decision for his family. He seemed to blunder from one situation to another in front of all of them and his “being a buffoon”, was the central point of humor for the show. The final straw for me was he was NOT the leader of his house, nor could he be, because of the way he was portrayed. No one could, or did, respect him. This actor totally shattered the biblical requirement for men to be the head of their homes. What I thought was a simple Disney sitcom, was a subtle reason why, without a strong fatherly influence, boys grow up and don’t know their role in the family.

Guys, Christian men out there…what are we going to do about this!? We are clearly told in Ephesians 5:22- 6:4 that it is the fathers responsibility to be the head of the house just as Christ is the head of the church. We are called to LOVE our wives and raise our children up in the Lord. The fatherly influence here is both critical for our individual families as well as society. We need the men to be men…not wimps like I witnessed above.

I recently saw a snippet of a morning show where a woman author had written a book called Man Up. The premise of her book was simple, she was analyzing why, in todays society, guys are continuing to act like adolescents well into their forties and she wants to know why?…AND, has taken upon herself to tell the worlds men to MAN UP! Does anyone see a problem here? Society shows our boys through sitcoms, commercials and other media outlets, that its ok to be a wimp that asks for approval every step of the way, or the man “isn’t the only leader in the home” and yet when they grow up to be physically men, they wonder why they don’t know how to be loving husbands and fathers? Well I know the answer to this question…

Husbands, Fathers and Men. I challenge you right now to be, or become, the head of your household. I challenge you to lead by example and be the spiritual leader. I challenge you to read the Bible and pray in your homes. Set your sons…AND your daughters, up for success by YOU, portraying for them each day, how you love your wife and love them too. God set up the family structure this specific way for a reason and Satan is working overtime to mess it up…What are YOU going to do about that in YOUR home? We need men now, more than ever, to be Godly men…I am calling you out!…Remember Proverbs 27:17…As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. NOW IS THE TIME.

Inspired by my Aunt Phyllis…

Can you afford NO FEAR in your Life…?

Posted: March 13, 2011 in Heaven Bound
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Fear is a precarious thing; it can grip you and cause you to stop in your tracks and not advance another step. It can cause one to sweat, shiver, shake, or cry out. It can also have the opposite effect whereby one might act heroically and suddenly accomplish mighty things or at least things that wouldn’t have happened if fear were not present. We are told here in America through advertising, to use the No Fear as our approach to life. The No Fear method however, is a dangerous road to walk in life because without fear, we have NO humility, and without humility, we become arrogant, and the path of arrogance doesn’t end up very well.

There is also the fear of death, or maybe the fear of man, or fear of a group of people who are killers like in a gang. What about in history with Hitler’s destructive Nazi regime, who attempted to annihilate the entire population of Jews. Can you imagine the mortal fear the Jews felt as the Nazis swept into their city bent on death and destruction? This was pure fear at its concentrated worst. Now, I can go on and illustrate examples of horrific events throughout world history and demonstrate atrocities of conquerors whose sole purpose in life was death to cause fear. But my purpose would be to simply say yes, there have been, and continue to be, numerous reasons to be fearful of man and his acts toward other men. As long as we live here on this earth, this will never change. Nation will always rise against other nations bent with the intent to destroy and take over, and if you happen to be on the receiving end of the attack, God be with you.

But the objective of this note is to put fear into perspective and I can communicate this easier by using the words of Jesus Christ from the following verses of the Bible.

“Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell”. Matthew 10:28

“But I will warn you whom to fear: fear the One who, after He has killed, has authority to cast into hell; yes, I tell you, fear Him! Luke 12:5

Guys, It’s hard to believe, especially after what I mentioned above, but Christ tells us NOT to fear anyone, or any regime of power, or any country, or any group of people who can only kill our bodies. Throughout history, people have died terrible deaths for many reasons, but as Christ points out, once you are dead, that is all a killer can do. Once you are dead, you are dead right?…Christ says that is NOT the true reason to fear…True fear should come from Him who after killing the body, has the power to destroy the soul (your soul) in hell. I know these are harsh words but I speak the truth.

Jesus clarification is helpful because as human beings, we only fear what we can see. It’s hard to fear what isn’t right in front of you. But I am telling you there is a kingdom upon this earth we cannot see with our human eyes and as the Bible tells us, where the powers and principalities of this world reside. When we die, there is more to come and that is what we, as men, should fear for both ourselves AND our families. Am I heaven bound? More than ever, I pray that you will echo the words of Joshua 24:15, where he says, “…But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord”. This must be your number one priority as you move forward. Satan will not rest until he can destroy as many souls here on earth, as possible.

OK, so if you are now fearful and concerned about your future well-being, then I have your attention. So remember, if you seek God each day then you are NOT alone. Remember the words of Isaiah the Prophet;

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand”. 41:10

“For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you. DO NOT FEAR; I WILL HELP YOU”. 41:13

Why am I telling you this today? NOW is the time to be paying attention to what is going on around you. I do NOT want you to be lulled into a false sense of complacency. Satan is alive and well right now seeking who he can devour. Me personally? I wanted you to know what you should TRULY be afraid of…not the person who can just kill your body, but the one who can kill your soul…Can you afford to live your life with no fear…?

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