Archive for the ‘Strong Husbands’ Category

I am SO Stressed…

Posted: November 8, 2011 in Standing firm in Trials, Strength for Today, Strong Husbands
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I am so stressed….

How many times have you said that statement in the last few weeks or months? With your mortgage payment due and all the never-ending costs that children bring and aren’t the holidays just around the corner? And these are just the money stresses. What about all the problems at work or maybe your marriage is on the rocks? The list only grows…

I know it looks like I’m simply pointing out the obvious but the cold, hard facts are that life isn’t going very well for people right now. Everyday, the news reports what the national statistics echo; we all have less money in our collective wallet’s and that is stressful. There have been more bankruptcies in 2010-2011 than ever before in our countries history. The middle class is rapidly becoming a thing of the past and its becoming harder and harder to put food on the table. If you are like me, watching the nightly news is painful because the only thing ever reported is bad. Frankly, seeing bad news, all the time, adds huge stress to our lives. Anyone checked their blood pressure lately? Maybe you should calm down first.

I am sure about one thing, what the world is pushing down our collective throats is that circumstances really are hopeless although I hear the media tell me to just “ride it out” and someone in Washington will make it better for me. However what it feels like is that if we don’t fall in line, or think the way society would have us think, then we are on our own. We are conditioned over and over to think the only solutions available are what we see on television or the internet. You can take a pill now for instant stress relief or, “become a millionaire in a week” but in the end, none of these solve what the problem really is, THE WORLD DOESN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH STRESS. Aren’t you tired of following the step-by-step “way” the world has to offer? Haven’t we have ALL seen this movie before and we know how it ends…?

Guys, I have an “outside the box” solution for your stress that will change your life forever? I call it outside the box because frankly, you would never see this option on the nightly news. The answer is this; God has already figured out the answer for our stress and He gave it to us, over and over, in His Word, the Bible. The problem isn’t that we can’t read His Word…it’s that we don’t trust His Word…

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (NIV) Philippians 4:6-7

Remember when I said my answer was outside the box? Well when the Bible says “the peace of God will transcend all understanding? That means, we have the ability to tap into something in which we really know nothing about because it’s from God… and I guarantee you, most of us have NOT gone this direction before. What I see is when we are stressed, we react as we are conditioned everyday to react; We try to SOLVE THE PROBLEM OURSELVES and that is NOT the way Christ intended us to deal with our adversity. There are so many verses in His Word about coping with life’s hardships it makes me think He knew a little about what might happen to us? I’m just saying…

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”Matthew 11:28-30

That is Christ speaking in the second verse directly to you and to me. Frankly, I’m not sure I can make this any clearer…Doesn’t “rest for your souls” sound really nice and comfortable? I could use some of that right now..how about you?  If your answer is yes, then stop doing your life, yourself, and give the “doing” over to God. Guys, its that simple…When you commit to Him your life, I am talking down deep in your heart control over your actions, something truly amazing happens…

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7

Simply put, when you have the peace of God, you DO NOT have stress! It goes away. And the problems you had before, are more manageable because you have a different perspective, one of heavenly proportions which changes your outlook.

So I leave you with a simple choice; either you choose to see the truths of the Bible and how they can eliminate your stress…or not…

One more thing…correct me if I’m wrong, but haven’t you tried the “or not” already? How’s that working for you?

Until next time guys. I wanted to leave you guys with a video from Casting Crowns called Slow Fade that illustrates what happens when we slowly, over time, give into the enemy…resist brothers and sisters…

Destination Procrastination

Posted: June 27, 2011 in Strength for Today, Strong Husbands
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Procrastination. We are all guilty of it. We can seem to help ourselves. Sometimes I think procrastination is part of my DNA because no matter what the situation; confronting someone about their less than stellar work performance, or just dealing with a situation I may find uncomfortable, procrastination seems to affect everyone one of us at one time or another. The question is will it stick and be a part of us forever?

Now, I know there will be those out there who will read this post and just laugh. If that is the case, this post is NOT for you. But for the rest of us, the ones who tend to struggle with procrastination or self-discipline at your core level, I write this for you.

I looked up Procrastination in the dictionary and it told me “Procrastination is putting off until tomorrow what you should do today” I absolutely think that definition is very accurate but I would also interject that if procrastination only meant one waited until the next day, I don’t think the problem would be such a problem. To me though, the real issue is the people who put off what should be done today until next year, or worse case, never…those folks are the real concern. Can you imagine waiting a lifetime for someone to take care of something?

Why do people Procrastinate?
I am not a psychologist so I can’t give you reasons for people putting of their responsibility, but I can say, as a manager of people for the last 25 years, many of these folks frankly, don’t take care of what should be taken care of because they struggle mightily with self-discipline (or they are just lazy). I get to watch them everyday. Why is it that someone will only do enough to meet the bare minimum of responsibility, or wait until the last possible moment to turn in what is required of them?I see this problem coming down to personal organization or personal distractions like maybe a difficult home life or worse yet, they are just that “way”. Procrastinator, lazy, or all of the above.

Now we all know someone who fits my description. Sometimes we even find it funny, like our roommate in college who made a living with “just in time”papers to the professor, but he was only able to accomplish this with regular all night coffee binges the night before. When I hear a story like this I ask myself why…? Why is a little self-discipline so hard to accomplish for some people? Vance Havner said, “The alternative to self-discipline is disaster” and I agree with him. Continued complacency towards the future will result is just that…a disaster.

Remember that our success, in any endeavor, depends on the passion we bring to it, like our families or our place of work. God has created a world where your diligence is rewarded and laziness is not. Yes…you heard me correctly, God does NOT reward laziness, misbehavior, or apathy. Instead, he expects us to behave with dignity and self-discipline but what I have found, there isn’t much of those qualities around when you need them.

Proverbs 23:12 says to, Apply your heart to instruction and your ears to words of knowledge, and 2 Peter 1:5-6 tells us, For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness. God’s word is very clear to us; We must exercise self-discipline in all things and NOT put off our responsibilities until tomorrow…

Guys I encourage you to NOT procrastinate but to go out and put in a hard days work because you know it’s the right thing. When you do, you are on your way to a life of character and self discipline…a great place to be…

Until next time…

My many trips to Home Depot…

Posted: May 7, 2011 in Off the Clock, Strong Husbands
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I wanted to change things up towards the lighter side with this post and I just couldn’t resist this article because I know we have ALL been there along our journey. I cannot take credit for this, and I have no idea who wrote it, but it just is so true…Enjoy.

Alright, so we have all been there at some point, you are in the middle of some kind of project around the house – mowing the lawn, putting up a new fence, painting the living room, or whatever. You are hot, sweaty, and covered in dirt or paint.  You have your old work clothes on:  Shorts with a hole in the crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes.  Right in the middle of this great home-improvement project you realize you need to run to Home Depot to get something to complete the job.  Depending on your age you might do the following:

In your 20’s:
Stop what you are doing.  Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes.  Check yourself in the mirror and flex.   Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane.  And you went to school with the pretty girl running the register.

In your 30’s:
Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt.  Change shoes.   You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair.  Check yourself in the mirror.  Still got it.  Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell.  The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.

In your 40’s:
Stop what you are doing.  Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts.  Put on different shoes and a hat.  Wash your hands.  Your bottle of Brute Cologne is empty so you don’t want to waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot.  Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing.  The spicy young thing running the register is your daughter’s age and you feel weird thinking she is pretty.

In your 50’s:
Stop what you are doing.  Put a hat on; wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt.  Change shoes because you don’t want to get dog crap in your new sports car.  Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it.  Then you remember the hat you have on is from Buddy’s Bait & Beer Bar and it says, “I Got Worms.”

In your 60’s:
Stop what you are doing.  No need for a hat anymore.  Hose the dog crap off your shoes.  The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50’s.  You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants.  The girl running the register may be cute, but you don’t have your glasses on so you aren’t sure.

In your 70’s:
Stop what you are doing.  Wait to go to Home Depot until the drugstore has your prescriptions ready, too.  Don’t even notice the dog crap on your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather.

I hope you enjoyed the humor of this guys because bottom line, we are all getting older but through the grace of God, even though our bodies aren’t what they used to be, we have huge reasons to be hopeful for the future. Jesus is alive and well and we must continue to tap into Him for Ironman Strength.

More posts to come…

Whatever happened to Normal?

Posted: April 22, 2011 in Standing firm in Trials, Strength for Today, Strong Husbands
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If you’re like me, you may spend a little time each day catching up on world news or maybe your favorite sports team because as guys, we like to know what is going on, right? Is it me, or does it seem that right now, more than any other time in our lifetime, that the World, and America, is just out of control? It’s like what is wrong is now right and whats right, is now wrong…That’s the way it appears to me. Today I read online that a man in New York City broke up a fight happening in a McDonald’s restaurant and 10 minutes later, someone killed him for it…? I am completely dumbfounded…? When did the switch get flipped so that right and wrong are backwards? This kind of lunacy is now the everyday normal and you, me, and every other Christian family has to deal with this craziness.

Guys, I wish I had a good answer to help you with what we see going on around us but the reality is that Satan is alive and well on this earth…for now. He thinks he’s in charge and he is ramping up his attacks on humanity because frankly, I believe, the time we have left on earth is short.

Take a look at 2 Corinthians 4:3-4, where it says:

And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.

Satan is actively working to keep unbelievers still unbelievers, and to turn believers into unbelievers…He wants to take as many of us down with him as he can. Why? Because he HATES you. He absolutely LOATHES you and is working this very minute to to take you down, permanently. He is lying in wait looking for someone to consume…Maybe you, or someone in your family?

Remember 1 Peter 5:8?

Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

He also wants to present you with 1000 reasons why you shouldn’t proceed down the narrow path…Maybe that means cheating on your wife? Or spending time with pornography? I could go on and on…You will continually have these types of major roadblocks thrown in your path as a Christian man. He wants you to fail and to do that he will find your weakness and make it very easy for you to fall. In fact, it will be so subtle that you may think, ”Aaah…just this once, no one will know and really, just this once”…Guess what? HE HAS GOT YOU! Look up above at that verse…It says, Be self-controlled and ALERT. Remember, sin is subtle. It slowly creeps into your life and worms its way into your inner most thoughts…

Guys, I will not lie to you…It is HARD to resist temptation… but I will give you a reason from Christ to keep on resisting:

Matthew 7:13-14

Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

Where do you fit into all of this? Are you disgusted with what you see around you or are you assimilating into the culture? Do you find all of this harder and harder to deal with or do you just not understand what the big deal is about? Guys, I challenge you to remember that the enemy is out there waiting to destroy you, and anyone else who is dear to you…I challenge you to keep your eyes on Christ and to simply hold on tight…HE WILL NOT LET GO OF YOU…

You are Not Alone…

Posted: April 16, 2011 in Standing firm in Trials, Strength for Today, Strong Husbands
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I had lunch with a friend of mine this past week because we hadn’t seen each other in a couple of months and we wanted to reconnect. I knew this particular friend has had a tough go of things lately. He had been in and out of jobs for the last 4 years due to no fault of his own. He was in a business that was simply more susceptible to the economy than most. What struck me though, was how far this guy had fallen. Just so you understand, my friend has a way about him that is infectious. He is FUN to be around and we both enjoy teasing our older kids. Our families enjoy one another…He is an all around great guy however, the guy I had lunch with this week, was NOT the same man. This guy was broken and he is angry at God for constantly being out of work. His children are grown up and away at college so he finds himself alone most of the time which only make matters worse. He told me he still goes to church on Sundays, but he doesn’t listen anymore. He feels as if God has abandoned him…

I know there are a great deal of men, just like my friend, who feel this same way. They continually ask themselves, “whats the point?” “Why am I going through this?”, “ I AM ALONE”.

Guys, as one who has walked in the valley of the shadow of despair at the loss of my only daughter Kylie, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! God will never leave you or forget you! You DO have someone to hold onto during your storm and his name is Jesus Christ. The purpose of this article is to remind…and to encourage you if you happen to be in this place also.

Lets start with the Bible, Gods Word, here on earth, given to us. I’ve heard guys say, “those are just words, what can they do for me right now when I’m in the middle of this?” Trust me, they are not just words, they are power and strength you, and your family, can tap into during the tough times.

Proverbs 3: 5-6 tells us to:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.

What these verses tell me is their will be things that happen in our lives that we won’t understand…It wont make any sense. Can you tell me why God decided to take my beautiful 12-year-old daughter? I don’t get that and I never will but I’ve come to realize that my trying to understand why?…that is NOT my job. My job is to completely trust in Him…even though I don’t understand why. Do you remember the story of Peter when he got out of the boat and started walking on the water to meet Jesus? (Matthew 14:29-30) He was actually walking on water until he took his eyes off of Christ and then what happened? He started sinking fast…and what was his reaction? He cried, “Lord save me!” which is exactly what we are supposed to do…

But maybe that is the crux of the problem. We are guys and we don’t need any help…Isn’t that right? Well I can tell you that David, one of the greatest warriors that ever lived in history, he didn’t feel that way. In fact David ran for his life for over 10 years because Saul was out to kill him but yet he still said this in Psalms 31: 13-14:

For I hear the slander of many; there is terror on every side; they conspire against me and plot to take my life. But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, “You are my God.”

What I am saying is this…Now is the time to set your eyes on Him. Don’t waver. Look up to heaven and say “Lord, I do NOT understand any of this crap that is happening to me. I am struggling mightily with all of this everyday…But I know this, You are on the throne and You don’t make mistakes and even though this (whatever “this” is for you) makes no sense, I am going to keep my eyes fixed on You and my trust completely in You so that whatever happens, we are in this together and we will get through this…together…

Guys, I’m not an evangelist or a Bible scholar who teaches in a university…I’m just a regular guy, like you, trying to make my way in this world. My answers are not scholarly, they are from my heart from reading God’s word and they have helped me during my own pain on this earth. I know many of you out there are hurting and please understand that my words are meant to encourage you. You can make it through this and I will continue to pray that God draws near to you during your time of need…

Be strong my brother…”weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning”…

Yep, you guessed it, David said that too…

Let me leave you with one more thing:

Where Have All the Men Gone?

Posted: March 26, 2011 in Fatherhood, Strong Husbands
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My 8 year old son asked me to watch a program with him on the Disney channel the other day and so I thought, ”why not?”. “This could be a great Father, son bonding moment right?” so I plopped myself down next to him and we watched his show. 10 minutes into it however, I was shocked! Now, I’m not bagging on Disney, but the father in this show was an idiot, or at least being portrayed as one. He didn’t know anything and his children didn’t respect him. What irritated me the most however, was his relationship with his wife. He was a subservient wimp who required her approval before he could make a decision for his family. He seemed to blunder from one situation to another in front of all of them and his “being a buffoon”, was the central point of humor for the show. The final straw for me was he was NOT the leader of his house, nor could he be, because of the way he was portrayed. No one could, or did, respect him. This actor totally shattered the biblical requirement for men to be the head of their homes. What I thought was a simple Disney sitcom, was a subtle reason why, without a strong fatherly influence, boys grow up and don’t know their role in the family.

Guys, Christian men out there…what are we going to do about this!? We are clearly told in Ephesians 5:22- 6:4 that it is the fathers responsibility to be the head of the house just as Christ is the head of the church. We are called to LOVE our wives and raise our children up in the Lord. The fatherly influence here is both critical for our individual families as well as society. We need the men to be men…not wimps like I witnessed above.

I recently saw a snippet of a morning show where a woman author had written a book called Man Up. The premise of her book was simple, she was analyzing why, in todays society, guys are continuing to act like adolescents well into their forties and she wants to know why?…AND, has taken upon herself to tell the worlds men to MAN UP! Does anyone see a problem here? Society shows our boys through sitcoms, commercials and other media outlets, that its ok to be a wimp that asks for approval every step of the way, or the man “isn’t the only leader in the home” and yet when they grow up to be physically men, they wonder why they don’t know how to be loving husbands and fathers? Well I know the answer to this question…

Husbands, Fathers and Men. I challenge you right now to be, or become, the head of your household. I challenge you to lead by example and be the spiritual leader. I challenge you to read the Bible and pray in your homes. Set your sons…AND your daughters, up for success by YOU, portraying for them each day, how you love your wife and love them too. God set up the family structure this specific way for a reason and Satan is working overtime to mess it up…What are YOU going to do about that in YOUR home? We need men now, more than ever, to be Godly men…I am calling you out!…Remember Proverbs 27:17…As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. NOW IS THE TIME.

Inspired by my Aunt Phyllis…

The Value of Time…

Posted: February 13, 2011 in Fatherhood, Strong Husbands
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Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

There has been a great deal written on the topic of time management over the years. Growing up I heard “stop wasting time” and I need to be a “better steward of the time God gives me”. Later on in high school I remember hearing “You all are accountable to me for your time in this class” my teacher  would tell us.

I remember thinking he was taking this time thing a little to far…I’m accountable to him…? But he was right, the time I spent studying for his class I was accountable to him and even more so when I failed a test. Then my “free time” dried up.

What I find ironic is when we make it to adulthood, we are encouraged with song titles like ”Time well wasted” and “Killing Time” which emphasize getting lost in the lack of managing our time. It’s like a switch was flipped and now I’m told forget about managing my time and just relax. So my question is, Which direction should we go?, Wasting time or time management?

Well, as a responsible adult I think we need to find a spot somewhere in the middle as to how we control the time we are given. But, (and here is the “but” statement) the reality is we completely get caught up in the business of our lives and just forget about the “aahh” moments with one another. I know you know what I mean when I refer to an aahh moment.

That split second of recognition when your little child sees his/hers Santa gifts on Christmas morning or maybe when you sneak up on them and surprise them with a ride on your shoulders or a good tickling. Those are AAhh moments to me. Those simple moments in life we can take and be thankful for because nothing in this world can mean more to your child than meaningful time spent with them.

So you say, “great, you have made me feel guilty, what is your point”? My point is simple, as a father who has lost a child, my whole perspective on time and the moments of life we spend together has changed. Time lost cannot be regained not matter how hard we try.

Unfortunately, I now understand the value of time and why moments with our children and family must be treasured because you don’t know when you may have all of it taken from you. One minute your life is great and next you find everything is swept away.

Ok, you say, I’m sorry for your loss but…that doesn’t apply to me. I’m a great parent and enjoy being a parent and spending time with my own children or my spouse. My question to you is Really? Have you actually made that connection in your brain where you said to yourself? Look at what I have in my life, this is awesome?

Have you truly realized you should be thankful for what is right in front of you? I know I hadn’t. In fact, even though I had went through a scary time when my daughter was born with hospitalization and surgeries, since then I was complacent and took each day as it came never really grasping the actual moments and living them to the fullest…Thanking God for them. Appreciating them for what they were, valuable time.

It is strange to think we don’t take the time because we say we don’t have the time? I encourage you to take today and look at your wife and your kids and just say “thank you God for what you have given me”.

Simply put, appreciate the gifts you have been given.

Appreciate the value of time…

Until next time Guys,

We have to be different than everybody else…

Posted: February 1, 2011 in Kingdom Living, Standing firm in Trials, Strength for Today, Strong Husbands
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If not, then whats the point of being a Christian anyway? If we don’t act differently or have different morals than everyone else then why did Jesus come in the first place?

In 2 Corinthians 6:16-18, we learn from Paul that we are the temple and we must stay clean while we navigate through this very dirty world:

What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.” “Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you.” “I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.”

God requires us as followers of Jesus Christ to separate ourselves both morally and spiritually from sin or anything that is contrary to His ways. In other words, when your friends invite you to Las Vegas for the weekend for some fun and chaos and then tell you that no one will find out? You might want to reconsider that decision…don’t set yourself up for failure. Worst of all, don’t buy into the advertisements that say what happens there, stays there…It (whatever “it” might be), will be with you for the rest of your life…and YOU get to live with IT. The rest of your life for one night?…not a very good trade off…

Another quick relevant Bible story…

When Joshua took the Children of Israel into the Promised land, God gave him some very harsh and strict instructions, kill everyone you come into contact with…they all must die. Under no circumstances were they to allow any of them to live because they were heathen of the worst kind and God knew that if they yielded, the children of israel would assimilate into their cultures instead of “tuck them in” into their own. Read Deuteronomy 20:16-18 and see what God said…Why does this matter to you and me? Because are you really confident that you can spend time around temptation and NOT end up yielding to it? God knew completely that the Children of Israel would fail…and they did. They could not live next door to Las Vegas without becoming just like them, vulgar sinners and prostitutes… and I don’t want the same thing to happen to you…

Guys, I pray for you that you can indeed separate yourself from all the nasty stuff throws your direction and work each day by staying pure before Him. My best advice to you…Stay on your knees brother.

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