Over the last few years, the holidays have caused me to reflect back and look at my own life and count my many blessings. I have been more aware of “life’s moments” since the loss of my daughter a few years back. Recently, I spent time with a man who I don’t see very often because of distance and as I call it, his “self estrangement” from his family because of his desire to be alone and pursue his own desires. Now wait just a minute…what man wouldn’t want to pursue his own passions? We are guys and passions i.e. our hobbies, are what we do, am I right? My friend’s “problem” is that he isn’t alone. He moved in with a woman a few years back and then proceeded to have a beautiful little baby with her. Now you will notice I said “problem” earlier when referring to his new family and is the reason I write this blog post. His complaints about his personal situation caused me to realize how wealthy he is RIGHT NOW, and he doesn’t see it.
Our conversation began about creativity because he is a talented artist, sculptor and more. He is one of those people who see art in everything and when he puts his mind to a project, I have been stunned to see his results. Since I’ve known him, I have come to see him as a creative person with a free spirit. Unfortunately as he puts it, he hasn’t “created” any new “pieces of art” in a long time due to his new-found responsibilities with his girl friend and new child. In my opinion, most new dads find a way around these home responsibilities if they truly want to do whatever their passion is, HE…has chosen to become bitter towards his family. THEY are the reason he cannot pursue what he wants to do and he sees his girl friend and child as obstacles in life’s journey. As I listened to him explain the “journey” he is navigating and why he never has the time to pursue his creativity, I couldn’t help commenting on how much of an inspiration his young daughter must be to him? Here is this little gleam of sunshine, innocence, and just pure beauty and yet he does not see her that way. From the outside looking in, I ask What is standing in his way and blocking him from seeing what seems so clear and obvious to me? What is robbing him of the joy of being a father?
In this life, what could be more important than your wife and child? Again, I recognize I have this opinion because my perspective is different from most men because when you lose a child it changes you…forever. I’m sure you have heard the expression, “walk a mile in another mans shoes?” In my conversation with him, I tried to convey what he is missing by dragging all this bitterness around. He has a beautiful little girl right there in front of him and it doesn’t phase him. Myself, a dad who lost his only daughter, can’t get through to him and emphasize his incredible blessing! He is a grown man who is unwilling to listen to my words about being unbelievably blessed with wealth by heavenly standards…I pray that he will discover that knowledge soon…before she is gone from his life.
Here is my question to you? Do you look at your own family and understand what I mean by true wealth? I think it is pretty clear I am not referring to your bank account. I am speaking to what I believe is really important in our lives. True wealth here on Earth is not measured in dollars and cents. Now I absolutely agree that We, (all of us guys), have our hobbies and personal pursuits that are just ours and yes, I do struggle with my own “time” issue. Trying to balance our personal life with work and family isn’t easy and there are a whole lots of books written on that subject to back me up. I am also NOT inferring I have it all together because I do not…But what I DO understand is that I am wealthy beyond measure… just like I know you are as well.
Guys, I encourage you to take a look at your family through different eyes, God’s eyes. Look at them for what they truly are…your legacy…and your true wealth…
Until next time…
