Archive for the ‘Inspirational’ Category

Wisdom of a Legacy from a 12 year old girl

Posted: September 17, 2011 in Father, Inspirational
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If you have ever read any of my blog before, then you know I am a guy who lost his only daughter to a heart problem when she was 12 years old. So why do I mention this again? Well, having gone through an experience like this with a child, I can tell you first hand that it changes a man…forever. I do not think in the same manner as I did before. I certainly don’t take family opportunities for granted, I soak them up with my eyes and enjoy every second of them…But why start off a blog post in this fashion? I often think about my daughter Kylie’s legacy having only been on this earth for 12 years. I remember listening and reading to the overwhelming outpouring of love and affection towards her and I was stunned at what people said about her. She made such a huge impact in only 12 years and as time has passed, I almost feel like I didn’t know that side of her. She was impacting people everyday and I never knew. But I can easily say that her life mattered because she made a difference to the people she touched everyday, myself included.

Even now, 7 years removed from her passing, I still marvel at who she was at such a young age which got me to thinking about my own legacy and what I will be remembered for. We have all heard the expression “you only get one chance to make a first impression”. Well over the years I have made many first impressions, some of which I wish I could perform a “do over” because they were so pathetic. But it is because of these missed chances that I began to wonder what I could have given that person about who I am as a believer that they never received from me. For that moment, I blew the chance God gave me and I probably will never see that person again. God intended me to give them something, a kind word, an ear to listen…and I didn’t. These examples are the kind of chances that legacy’s are born from. People like Kylie, who take full advantage of these chance opportunities without any fear as to what others might think or say about them. I believe God continuously brings impromptu moments into our lives for reasons we do not know. He knows you have something this person needs and all we need to do is to be who we are, but we don’t and that person moves on and God assigns the task to another person in another circumstance.

So we have all these chances over a lifetime that will build a legacy of who we are. There is a country song by Aaron Tippin that says “You’ve got stand for something or you’ll fall for anything” which means when you make up your mind to stand for something, that strong stance changes those encounters. Here is my point illustrated; Kylie was only 12 years old, but her relationship with Christ resembled that of an older person. She believed in Jesus Christ and she stood solid for Him so as a result, her daily opportunities to make first impressions revolved around who she was in Christ which meant if you met her for the first time, you knew who she stood for and that became her legacy.

Now I know as guys we don’t go around thinking of things like this much but as I said, I am a changed man as a result of my experience with her. But I am asking you today to consider the wisdom of a 12-year-old girl for your own future. Consider standing strong for Christ in your own daily walk and let Him guide and direct you while you build your own legacy. I can honestly say that I hope my legacy isn’t business or sports but rather how I affected the people I met throughout my lifetime. Did I impact them for Christ? Did I accomplish the task Christ intended with our chance encounter? If I can pull that off, I would be a happy guy…

All of this I learned from a crazy little girl who lives in heaven…Thanks Kylie…

Until next time guys…Live with Ironman Strength…

This is going to Hurt me more than its going to Hurt you?

Posted: September 5, 2011 in Father, Inspirational, Just for Fun
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When I was a kid I had a tendency to get into trouble. Things just kind of happened and I’m not completely clear, even now, why I always seemed to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Typically though, I would end up having that inevitable conversation with my father that always ended with his infamous line, “this is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you”…and that is where this story begins…

If you’re like me, and I’m sure you are, you have had to take out the garbage sometime in your life. In fact, for some of you, that particular job may still be apart of your weekly routine. Nevertheless, that job was apart of my chore list when I was a kid growing up in Phoenix, Arizona back in the 70’s. What I remember about doing that job was the long distance I would have to carry the bags just to reach the trash cans. Apparently, my parents enjoyed the daily torture of watching my brother and I make the daily journey across the desert landscape, empty the trash, and then make it back alive before we melted in the summer heat. I remember one particular day when I had gotten home from school and was starting my chore list when I noticed 5 extra bags sitting by the back door. Upon questioning my Mom, she told me “they were filled with glass jars she no longer needed and wanted them gone”. I remember groaning because this meant 2 or 3 extra trips just to finish my regular job and of course my brother wasn’t any where around to help…

Then I got a great idea and decided to use our toy wagon, we kept outside, to carry some of these heavy bags all the way out to the trash barrels which ultimately worked great. On my second and final trip, the real idea (and our story) popped right into my head…To this day I have no idea why that thought came to me, but when it did, it was just too much to pass up.

What I decided to do, was instead of just putting all the bags into the barrels like everyone else, why not throw all of the jars over the fence and try to make baskets into the cans? I mean why not take a daily, painful, chore and have some fun with it? Now I will tell you, that as an adult, I wish I would have maybe considered actually where the trash barrels were sitting on the other side of the fence as well as jar trajectory prior to beginning my glass tossing deluge but apparently I did not think that was important at the time… I began tossing small, medium and monster size glass jars over the fence and waiting to hear them fall into the cans. I should also probably say at this time being only 8 years old, I guess I also didn’t know what glass hitting the trash barrels sounded like because I just kept throwing them over the fence…

Meanwhile, my mother came to the kitchen window and happened to see my, exercise in 8-year-old fun, occurring and she erupted just like a volcano would. She burst out of the house at warp speed hurdling tricycles and the dog to frankly, break a land speed record to get to the back gate where I was. I must also say that before she reached me, her screaming for me to stop caused me to turn around from my game to witness how much of an athlete I didn’t know my Mom was. Of course, there was the proverbial, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING!” comment, but before I could answer, she moved around me towards the gate. At this point, time seemed to slow down because I remember as she pushed the gate open, being surprised there wasn’t any glass near my target but as my gaze lifted upward, then I was awestruck. All of the glass was not by the barrels, but out in the middle of the street next to our house. At the center point of the asphalt, there was 6 inches of broken glass. It was an amazing sight from my point of view but not from my Mom’s. She immediately kicked into an even faster speed and moved around me before I could speak. She yelled, “stay there!” until she returned. I heard her yell for my brother as she raced back to the house and returning just minutes later with brooms and dust pans. As we started to clean up, my little brother arrived to help. I remember him just standing there totally awestruck at the sight of all that broken glass. But then he said, “ You are in SOOOOO much trouble”, which up until that point, I hadn’t made that connection. I was going to have to face Dad about this incident and it might be bad. I decided to test the water with mom and ask her…her response told me all I didn’t want to hear…”I am so mad at you that your Father is going to have to deal with this disaster”…

We worked for a good half hour and finally got the street clean enough for cars to pass through so when we headed back towards the house, all she said was, “go to your room and wait for your father” Of course that’s just plain torture as far as I can tell because it might be hours before he came home, I mean I was 8, and had no concept of time. Of course shortly thereafter, I heard the distinct sound of his car pulling into our drive way…The car door opening and shutting, the house door opening and shutting..and then my mom yelling…KENNY!!!!!…I knew then I was toast. From my room, I could hear her talking but couldn’t understand what she was saying. I’m sure it was like, “your son did the most despicable thing ever today; he needs to be publicly humiliated or publicly flogged”…I don’t know, I WAS 8! Those are the kinds of things 8-year-old boys think…Then I heard my Dad say something and there was this really…long…pause….For a fleeting second I thought maybe I might get off the hook because the pause was still going on…Then it happened; and I still don’t know how he came all the way from the kitchen to my room with out me hearing him. Was my Dad part Indian or something? All I remember was all of a sudden, my bedroom door opened and in he walked. He was wearing his white shirt and tie. I noticed he had taken off his jacket and figured that gave him more mobility to hit me harder…(I actually thought that by the way). He sat down on my bed and looked at me and just shook his head. “Not good” I thought…not good. I decided I should say something and started to speak but he just waved me off. He said, “son, this one is just too much for excuses…You went too far…You must be punished”…He stood up and started taking off his belt. I thought, “I wish I would have put that book in my pants like my brother did once”… then he said the line, ”Son, this is going to hurt me more than its going to hurt you…” I thought, “really Dad?, really?, Do you want to change places to test your theory?” Ok, Ok, that last line is adult commentary all these years later…and had I said that at the time…well…its a good thing I was a kid and didn’t know any better…

So I went on to take my lumps and paid my dues for that days decision to have fun with my chores but as an adult, I look back on that day with fond memories and because of that HUGE lesson I learned…

;

;

What if I had used the Magic Johnson hook shot instead?e

Would you rather Gain this World…or Live Forever?

Posted: September 3, 2011 in Heaven Bound, Inspirational
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Please truly consider the answer to this question for your own life;

Would you rather gain this world…or live forever?

What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?  Matthew 16:26

What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?   Mark 8:36

So let me just repeat this so I understand it correctly…you would rather sacrifice living with Jesus Christ for all eternity so you can have a few good years upon this earth?

That’s what these scriptures essentially mean paraphrased yet I am continually confronted with people who think this way. I honestly think that the writers of these scriptures found this life style particularly difficult to understand as well. You may call my statement myopic because it is true, it is YOUR choice, you get to believe what you want…but what happens when the aforementioned scripture is fulfilled and you find out you were wrong? What happens when you begin to see with your own eyes what has been in the Bible since the very beginning? Then what? Can you afford NOT to even consider what Jesus has to say?

I heard this statement recently and I it illustrates my point:

I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn’t, then live my life as if there isn’t and die to find out there is…

So going with simple logic, that statement makes a whole lot of sense. Again, can you afford NOT to even consider Christs offer of salvation as an option for your life? How long do you really anticipate living? maybe 70 years? maybe +/- a few years more or less…? Even if you were the richest person in the world, does that mean you don’t have any adversity in life or any problems to solve? Not at all, in fact I think there is solid proof that money creates a whole new set of problems for people. My point is this; what does the definition of “living a few good years” mean to you? Is it having a never-ending supply of money to do what you want, when you want? Is it surrounding yourself with friends and enjoying a life of leisure? Or may be you are more of a family guy whereby your definition would be to have lots of kids and spend time with your family. Any of these options will work except for one HUGE problem…All of them are temporary. Let me remind you that this life you are living right now isn’t going to last because YOU aren’t going to last. Sooner than any one of us care to admit, we begin to feel the pains of age and the limitations of age. None of us can do what we did as teenagers or in college so even though that may have been a wonderful time in our lives, it is gone now which is exactly my point. How long are you willing to wait before you consider what Christ is offering you? Salvation means a commitment to Him while here on earth and then a reward of an eternity spent in heaven. Remember the verses I mentioned earlier…what good is it for a man if he gains the whole world yet forfeits his soul? This earth is temporary and WILL PASS AWAY…On the other hand, Eternity is a really long time…In fact, I don’t think I can even comprehend how long that truly is but that is what is in our future with a commitment to Him…

Please consider this statement…What have you got to lose?

Or, better yet, Look at what you gain?

Patriotism is alive and well…

Posted: August 23, 2011 in Inspirational
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I would consider myself very Patriotic with the roots of that Patriotism starting with how I was raised as a boy and growing up in the midwest. I was raised to love God and country…in that order. My Father was in the Navy for a while and was ultimately the reason for our family eventually ending up on the West Coast. He had been here before, and he liked California. My brother went into the Air Force and currently serves as a squadron commander on a base in Oklahoma. I chose not to serve but that in no way diminishes my previous statement about Patriotism. I am a very Patriotic guy and the reason I feel so strongly about this subject is my most recent experience with our close friends whose oldest son Zac, went into Army Intelligence and ultimately working with Army Special Forces. My kinship with Zac runs deep. I was present at his birth and stood by his Father as we stared at that 10 lb bundle of goo change color in the Nursery that day. Zac was born before I became a father myself and his birth profoundly solidified how much I desired to be a dad.

Fast forward 20+ years and Zac is headed to Afghanistan for the 3rd time only this deployment was slightly different. To make matters more intriguing, Zac wasn’t scheduled for another deployment. One of his best friends wife had just recently gave birth to their first child and this guy was earmarked for a 1 year deployment in a FOB (Forward operating base) somewhere deep in Afghanistan. To show you what kind of guy Zac is, he decided to perform 6 months of his buddies deployment. Unbelievable…Now, for all you selfish people out there struggling to catch your breath, I will repeat myself…Zac went to Afghanistan, in harm’s way, and covered six months of his friends deployment so he could spend time with his new baby. To make matters even more complicated, Zac works with Army Special Forces, when means he is truly in harm’s way more often than he isn’t. To hear him speak, where these guys operate, it really is, kill or be killed…

Because of this information, For the last six months, I have lived in this perpetual state of fear for Zac’s safety and well-being. Please note however, I am in no way insinuating my fear is anywhere close to what his parents feel. They are on another level. My fear stems from aforementioned kinship with Zac I have had since his birth. Bottom line; living with that fear, as I know many of you do still, is brutal, perpetual, and dreadful. For that, please know I pray for you each day that God would bring your own soldier home safely…But as I said, living with the ebb and flow of phone calls to his parents, or emails or an occasional FaceBook post, to find out status and how he is, was agony for them. One particular time involved a phone call to Mom wherein as soon as she knew it was Zac, she burst into tears and NOT because anything was wrong, but simply because she heard his voice. News of a recent mission or an upcoming one will always make mom cry as well. Dad, well you can see the worry on his face, but his words don’t reflect that. Sometimes, there are the “dad only” calls where Zac can relay some of his experiences that frankly, are like scenes from the movie, Saving Private Ryan. He talks about fire fights, engaging the enemy and survival. He has been attacked personally and had to kill to survive which still is a hard one to grasp because again, I’ve known this kid his whole life. I actually think these conversations help his father because many times Zac will relate his current experiences to games they played when he was a kid or even camping trips. All I see, is that these conversations almost act as therapy for dad. It helps him to relive some of his sons exploits and see how he handled each missions adversity. For me, the reality of understanding a typical day in the life of an Army Special Forces soldier was profoundly moving and my respect for him and our troops has exploded…and so has my Patriotism…

God Bless our troops…and I leave you with this…

Muhammad Ali said it right…

Posted: July 28, 2011 in Inspirational, Sports Stuff
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We have all heard of Muhammad Ali. We know that he tended to be controversial because he was so outspoken. What I find interesting now is when you go back and listen to what he was saying, he knew who he was and what he wanted. Many of these quotes are truly inspirational. Bottom line, don’t let other people make up your mind about what YOU are supposed to do OR become…With Christ’s help, you can become exactly who He wants you to be…exactly who you are designed to be…Enjoy these quotes and a little commentary…

1. “Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.”

Life is ebb and flow and most of the time you are relaxed, but every now and then you have to stick up for what you believe in. When that time comes…sting like a bee!

2. “If my mind can conceive it and my heart can believe it, then I can achieve it.”

Stop procrastinating and live your dream…don’t put off what you can do and be right now!

3. “Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.”

Impossible is a cop-out. Impossible is for people who like to live inside the box…I prefer to think outside that box…how about you?

4. “To be a great champion you must believe you are the best. If not, pretend you are.”

Confidence starts with you…What can YOU do and what can YOU achieve…? You get to choose…

5. “What you are thinking is what you are becoming.”

If you are focused on what you can’t do, or the impossible, I can tell you what will happen…focus on your dream…

6. “Don’t count the days, make the days count.”

Life is too short to waste time on pursuits that don’t allow you to reach your mountaintop. Focus energy each and every day on reaching the next level…Every day do just one thing…

7. “What keeps me going is goals.”

Without goals, you are NOT accountable to yourself as well as how do you measure that you are going in the right direction. Goals keep you focused…Goals keep you motivated…

8. “I know where I’m going and I know the truth, and I don’t have to be what you want me to be. I’m free to be what I want.”

Life is about choices…You can be whatever YOU want…Make the right choices

9. “Live everyday as if it were your last because someday you’re going to be right.”

A friend of mine told me recently” Life is too short, drink the good wine first”…I like that.

10. “Age is whatever you think it is. You are as old as you think you are.”

I have found age to be only in my mind…I work hard to stay young….what do you do?

11. “If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, then they can sure make something out of you.”

I am NOT giving up on you…but you have to help…

12. “Silence is golden when you can’t think of a good answer.”

Another way to look at this is “when in doubt, shut up…”

So what do you think? I really liked these quotes and I hope you did too. Yea I know Muhammad Ali was a loud mouth that never stopped talking but he backed up what he said in the ring…and…after reading these quotes, it sounds like I should have paid more attention to what he was saying…

Guys, I included these quotes as inspiration towards facing a new day. I know you all are facing tough times like unemployment, or hours being cut or something worse. My words to you are don’t give up, keep on trusting in Jesus Christ for your life’s direction. He cares, truly cares and the best part, is he will never leave you OR forget you…No matter what your circumstances are, you are NOT alone…believe me…I leave you with these verses…

Psalms 91:9-16

If you make the Most High your dwelling–even the LORD, who is my refuge…then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent. “Because he loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation.”

Seek Him, Trust Him and Believe in Him…only way to go…

Posted: July 9, 2011 in Heaven Bound, Inspirational, Tough Times
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Why is it that some of us think being a Christian is accepting Christ and then walking away and just moving on with our lives without Him? I can’t tell you how many times I see this and I am just stumped. To make matters worse…when we ultimately come to our death-bed, we want to reconnect with God because we certainly don’t want to miss out on the benefits of heaven…I mean eternal life has a nice ring to it, right?…But all the time in between, the life we live, we choose to go the journey alone, living life the way we want…or…maybe you might check in, now and then, and attend church, put on the right face, but go right back to our own way. If that is your plan….

Guys, that life is a total LIE from Satan, and if you fall victim to it, heaven is NOT in your future…

The reason is simple, living your life without a RELATIONSHIP with the Creator, is NOT God’s plan for us. You have heard me say in previous posts that “life truly is all about the journey”. God set up salvation as something we seek everyday of our lives and I can tell you with authority, we ALL need His divine strength to help us persevere and live a life that is pleasing to Him. The Psalmist writes in 105:4, “Look to the Lord and His strength; seek His face always”…why must we do this, everyday? Because the journey of life is NOT and easy one and without His strength, we will face spiritual weakness and ultimately, defeat.

But this post is really is about a relationship with Him and it cannot all be one-sided. If we put forth effort, by seeking Him with a humble heart, He will reward our efforts with His presence and power in our lives. I do know this, you can’t disappear for a lifetime and then show up and say, “Here I am God!” and expect all to be forgiven, especially if that was the intent all along. Remember, God examines the heart, your heart, and He knows your motivation. If your intent is to reject the Holy Spirit throughout your life and then “make it all better” in the end…not really a good plan…

The choice then, belongs to us, as it always has. Our responsibility is to actively seek God each day in order to have a relationship with Him. I encourage you to get to know Him on a different level. The more we hang out with God, the more confident and comfortable we will be with Him. There is truly no better place to be in this world, than comfortably resting in Gods grace, knowing you are right where He wants you. Conversely, don’t fall victim to Satan’s lie that tells you it is OK to do your own thing for as long as you want because it is way more fun…I assure you whole heartedly…the fun part is only temporary…Trust me, an eternity is a really, REALLY, long time…

Guys…my best advice to you is simply to, seek Him, trust Him, and believe in Him…

We were never promised that our lives would be easy here on earth, but if we persevere each on our own journey, we were promised Heaven…and that my friends, is worth our effort…

Until next time…Let me leave you with this…

My time as a Paperboy taught me Work Ethic

Posted: July 1, 2011 in Inspirational, Just for Fun
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For those of you who remember rising before the crack of dawn, or were chased by dogs, or who struggled against windy and rainy days and also had to pay for the windows you broke…all to deliver the morning paper, this blog post is for you you.

I had an overly large response to a post I wrote a few weeks ago on the subject of work ethic which got me thinking about my own life and why I feel so strongly on the subject. I struggle mightily with lazy people or people who put things off until the bitter end and as you probably can guess, I tend to be the opposite of these types and therefore get frustrated when I see this behavior. That being said, why do I feel the way I do about work ethic? Where does one learn work ethic? I wrote in my first post that work ethic must be taught in the home with our children. They need to see you up in the morning (or whatever shift you work) and doing what you have to make ends meet around your house…That being said, even though we grow up with strong parents who are an example that still doesn’t guarantee you, or your children will have a strong work ethic. Like me, you probably can trace your work ethic back to another person who you respected or maybe, like me, it was the job…

My time as a Paperboy taught me work ethic. When I was a kid, my brother and I both got paper routes at the same time. My brother took one in the afternoon and I took the one in the morning. He didn’t particularly like getting up early and frankly neither did I, but for some reason, I could do it so I accepted. My brother didn’t last very long working his route, but I have to say I think I may have quit to with his circumstances because his route consisted mainly of apartment buildings and people were always moving out and not paying him. Back then, when that happened, the paperboy always got screwed. Me, well I ended up having a paper route for all 4 years of high school. It gave me spending money and bought my first car, but it did require me to get up, everyday, 365 days a year, at 4 am to fold, load my bike, and ride 15 miles on my paper bike to deliver to 115 customers.

Now you ask, how could an early morning paper route, teach you work ethic? I thought I would list some of the good and bad things I recall about being a paperboy below just to give you an idea of the “everyday” with an explanation after.

Early Morning Wake up
I think I mentioned the early mornings earlier. 4 am was required to have the necessary time to fold all of the papers, load and deliver them to 115 doors, or in some cases, specific areas on their porch so they didn’t have to look for it. Then I would come home, shower and get ready for school, pretty much all before 7am. Getting up everyday forged inside of me a necessity to just get the job done quickly and correctly so I could forget about it for 24 hours until the following morning. Saturday mornings were great too because I could come home and sleep some more…and that was a luxury. Bottom line, I look back on 4 am risings and realized I must have really wanted that car…

Over Sleeping and Panic
Along those same lines as above was the panic rattling on my bedroom window by my paper manager when I overslept…and that happened occasionally. When the reality of that moment would set in, the immediate panic would also come. We have all overslept so you can relate. How am I going to accomplish my morning routine with 1 less hour to work with? I always found though, that as long as I kept myself cool, controlled and efficient, I was usually able to make the deliveries happen in time and still make school. That was a HUGE lesson…

Paperboy Economics
Part of my job as the paperboy was to collect the money at the end of the month. I had a receipt book I would fill out with 115 names on it and what they owed, then I would have to come home from school and go out in the evenings on my bike and collect. This either went well or not. Sometimes, I would never catch people home but yet my bill was due to be paid by the 5th so if I couldn’t collect enough what was a paperboy to do?…sound familiar right now? Sometimes I would have to discuss the latest broken window, or the fact that their dog was chasing me or…every now and then…they would give me and extra dollar or two for a job well done…I liked that. In fact, if you wanted your paper in a certain spot each morning, and were willing to give me an extra couple bucks or maybe even a Christmas bonus…no problem. I learned the value of effort will convert itself into money, people just have to get to know you…

Wrong Place at the Wrong Time
Sometimes, I found that simply by being the only one up, very early in the morning, I was just guilty. Blame it on the paperboy! That was never more true than one Saturday morning on my way home at the end of my route. I was peddling my Schwinn Heavy Duty, 55 lb paper bike with reinforced steel forks and wheels when all of a sudden 3 police cars converged on me from all directions. In a matter of moments, I was up against a car, being searched with literally no information as to “why” from any of them. Turns out, there was a complaint of a peeping tom and I was the prime suspect although they were not talking at the time. After a few scary moments on my part, they gave me the aforementioned reason and said, “sorry kid” and left in a “police” hurry…I learned a valuable lesson that day, take a different route home the next day…No…Seriously, don’t panic, things WILL work themselves out.

Paperboy Summary
You have heard the expression that “youth is wasted on the young” well in my example, that wasn’t necessarily the case. My time as a paperboy taught me many lessons that have served me well long into adulthood although at the time, I had no idea. I look back on the rainy mornings, or the Sunday paper which was so big, I had to stop and fold papers half way through again, or the same hills over and over again…everyday and I think why did I do that? What made me do that less than thankful, very hard job for 4 years?

I said YES…and where I come from your word, well…it means everything…

My time as a paperboy taught me work ethic…what taught you?

Well that is my experience with work ethic from my youth, what is yours? I would be interested in hearing them…

Until next time guys…

Destination Procrastination

Posted: June 27, 2011 in Husband, Inspirational
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Procrastination. We are all guilty of it. We can seem to help ourselves. Sometimes I think procrastination is part of my DNA because no matter what the situation; confronting someone about their less than stellar work performance, or just dealing with a situation I may find uncomfortable, procrastination seems to affect everyone one of us at one time or another. The question is will it stick and be a part of us forever?

Now, I know there will be those out there who will read this post and just laugh. If that is the case, this post is NOT for you. But for the rest of us, the ones who tend to struggle with procrastination or self-discipline at your core level, I write this for you.

I looked up Procrastination in the dictionary and it told me “Procrastination is putting off until tomorrow what you should do today” I absolutely think that definition is very accurate but I would also interject that if procrastination only meant one waited until the next day, I don’t think the problem would be such a problem. To me though, the real issue is the people who put off what should be done today until next year, or worse case, never…those folks are the real concern. Can you imagine waiting a lifetime for someone to take care of something?

Why do people Procrastinate?
I am not a psychologist so I can’t give you reasons for people putting of their responsibility, but I can say, as a manager of people for the last 25 years, many of these folks frankly, don’t take care of what should be taken care of because they struggle mightily with self-discipline (or they are just lazy). I get to watch them everyday. Why is it that someone will only do enough to meet the bare minimum of responsibility, or wait until the last possible moment to turn in what is required of them?I see this problem coming down to personal organization or personal distractions like maybe a difficult home life or worse yet, they are just that “way”. Procrastinator, lazy, or all of the above.

Now we all know someone who fits my description. Sometimes we even find it funny, like our roommate in college who made a living with “just in time”papers to the professor, but he was only able to accomplish this with regular all night coffee binges the night before. When I hear a story like this I ask myself why…? Why is a little self-discipline so hard to accomplish for some people? Vance Havner said, “The alternative to self-discipline is disaster” and I agree with him. Continued complacency towards the future will result is just that…a disaster.

Remember that our success, in any endeavor, depends on the passion we bring to it, like our families or our place of work. God has created a world where your diligence is rewarded and laziness is not. Yes…you heard me correctly, God does NOT reward laziness, misbehavior, or apathy. Instead, he expects us to behave with dignity and self-discipline but what I have found, there isn’t much of those qualities around when you need them.

Proverbs 23:12 says to, Apply your heart to instruction and your ears to words of knowledge, and 2 Peter 1:5-6 tells us, For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness. God’s word is very clear to us; We must exercise self-discipline in all things and NOT put off our responsibilities until tomorrow…

Guys I encourage you to NOT procrastinate but to go out and put in a hard days work because you know it’s the right thing. When you do, you are on your way to a life of character and self discipline…a great place to be…

Until next time…

No Regret…Leave it all on the Field

Posted: June 7, 2011 in Inspirational, Tough Times
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Many years ago I heard an athlete, who had just lost a huge game, being interviewed by a reporter. This reporter asked the tough question “So what’s it going to be like living with all the regret of losing this big game?” The athlete immediately snapped back, “regret!, I don’t have any regret, I left it all on the field…” I know all of us have heard that expression before but I found it to be a very good preface for this particular blog. Regret…tough word for some of us because of broken relationships or worse yet, maybe a harsh word spoken to a parent that is now deceased…Words that can never be taken back…Very painful…Regret at it’s highest level of pain…

Along this same thought, I found this article recently written by a hospice nurse who compiled this list of the top 5 regrets that people confess on their death-bed. She wrote this last year but frankly, this one to be timeless because it affects everyone. When I read this article…it caused me to think and that is exactly the reason I am sharing it with you…Please consider these 5 regrets as you live your own life…

By Bonnie Ware

1.   I wish I’d had the courage to live life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to
choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try to honor at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.

2.   I wish I didn’t work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed
deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3.    I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a
result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly,in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4.     I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved.Everyone misses their friends when they are dying. It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip.But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks,love and relationships.

5.    I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them
pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Guys, please do what you can to make peace with your past. Remember the words of Isaiah in Chapter 43:18-19,

Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing, Now it springs up, do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.

While you are all still on this earth, and young enough to make things right…humble yourself and do just that…as someone who has lost a child, you never know what your future holds. I will tell you this…It takes a bigger man to be humble and do the right thing, than to walk away all puffed up…

Do whatever you can to avoid living your life without regret…Leave it ALL on the field of life…

Until next time, God Bless You

Letter to my Son, the College Graduate…

Posted: May 25, 2011 in Father, Inspirational
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Almost 22 years ago, God blessed me with a son of my very own. When I was growing up, I wanted to be the father of a son because I thought I could better connect with a boy however when my daughter was born, everything changed. Maybe wanting a boy first wasn’t so strange because I have known other fathers who, while waiting for children of their own, felt the same way I had. 

Nevertheless, when you were born son, I was the happiest guy on the planet. People laughed at me when I got you your first baseball glove at your one-year-old birthday party. Why are you looking at me like that? I had to get you thinking about baseball, right? As you began to grow, I could see that you had a natural affinity to play the game as well as be a busybody. You weren’t a “sit still” type of kid and that was just fine with me because I wouldn’t have had you any other way.

When I look back on your young life, I see the amazing things that happened to you that still cause me to shake my head. While some of them involve sports and your individual performances, many of them involve how I saw you react and behave as you were growing up to be the quality man you are today. 

I wish God allowed our memories to be forever clear no matter how old we get but that is just not the case. We lose some along the way but hopefully remember the ones that are the most meaningful to us. I also think God allows some of the painful ones to disappear but I digress, I am talking to you, the Biola University graduate. 

The same guy who has persevered these last 4 years to make it to this great day. The day when you get to walk across that podium, wearing cap and gown, and receive that diploma and say “I did it!” But I would be remiss if I didn’t take the time and speak just a little about what it means to me to be your Dad.

Every Dad wants their son to grow up and be successful, but sometimes the road traveled can be more than many can bear. Life isn’t easy as our family has personally experienced the tragic loss of your sister, but yet from my vantage point, you stood your ground and fought the fight of grief that was presented to you. I know that fight is not over, but yet you carry your load with dignity and for that, I applaud you son because that is not an easy task. But let’s talk some more about you…

I want to go back for a moment and remind you of some things I remember from your life…

  • Do you remember that basketball game you played in the sixth grade where you couldn’t miss a shot? Do you remember how the referee stopped the game and asked you to send some luck his way because of the night of shooting you were having? I may be wrong, but didn’t you score 30 points that night? I still laugh in amazement.
  • Do you remember your performance as a high school senior in the city-wide Lions Tournament? In 5 games, you batted over .700? Your team won and you were voted the MVP of the whole tournament.
  • Do you remember all the big roles you had in the musical productions you were in 5th and 6th grade?
  • Do you remember making the All-Star team your first year in Little League and working so hard that they made you a starter over the older boys?

In my mind, those are great memories but it’s even more gratifying to see you now, a University graduate about to set out on your journey of life. You have learned to work hard because as you have seen, good grades don’t magically appear…they are earned. You have had to learn to multi-task to be successful in college and that talent will serve you well in life.

You have learned to live away from your mom and me from day one, which I know was important to you; to establish your own identity at college. Guess what? You succeeded. During your college career, you persisted, and now as a senior, what is it like having the freshman look up to you?

Over the last 4 years you have dealt with and persevered through car problems, girl problems, priority issues, homework, late nights, early mornings, roommates, crazy roommates, loneliness, grief, exhaustion, money problems, parents, distance, loyalty, laundry, cooking, cleaning, deadlines, fear, relationships, and the list goes on…all of this while maintaining your integrity. 

For all of these reasons and many more, I tell you son that as your father, I could not be any prouder of you than I am right now. Did you make mistakes? Yep, and we all do (and continue to do so) but yet you kept and (keep) on getting back up and forging ahead. Your uncle calls that fortitude, or having “gravel in your gut”…and I agree with him. That “never say die” mentality is what will propel you to success in any goal you set your eyes on reaching.

So here is my advice to achieve a satisfying life…

No matter what LIFE throws in your path. No matter what pain you may have to bear. No matter what suffering you may have to endure, or hardships…OR likewise…no matter what successes you may enjoy. 

No matter what happiness you may be blessed with…NEVER, EVER take your eyes off of Jesus Christ. 

For you to endure anything in your future son, either good or bad, you must trust in Him even when your mind says to do something else. As I have learned through the death of your sister, sometimes we are not meant to understand the “why” part, our job is to trust Him completely…your job, as the future head of your home, is to trust Him completely as well…

22 years ago, God blessed me with a son and he grew up to be you. You. Well, you turned out to be an amazing blessing and I believe with all my heart that God has awesome things planned for you. Just take that first step, just like you have always done…

I Love You Son and I am truly blessed that God chose me to be your Father…

Your Dad

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