Archive for the ‘Father’ Category

Work Ethic…Pass it on

Posted: April 30, 2011 in Father, Inspirational
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I’m old-fashioned in certain ways. It’s kind of funny being close to 50 and making that statement but I really think it is true for at least one thing; work ethic. Do you know what I mean when I say work ethic? I’m talking about what is inside you, that inner part of you that makes you…you. Some people call it fortitude, and some call it gravel in your gut. I’m old-fashioned, I call it, an honest day’s work for an honest day’s pay. That’s pretty simple I think…but apparently it’s not because today’s job work ethic isn’t the same as it used to be. Anyone who supervises people knows what I am referring to here. More and more, people don’t have any vision for their future. They prefer to perform the “eight and skate” mentality and the eight hours they are present? are debatable at best.

Guys, this is NOT a political blog and I plan on keeping it that way but what I am saying is as Fathers, it is our responsibility to teach work ethic in the home. That means, for example, holding our kids accountable for various responsibilities around the house. Now please, don’t misunderstand me here. I am not telling you how to do your job at work or at home. I am simply pointing out that from my vantage point, the mentality of approaching work is changing in America, and frankly, I don’t like it very much. Unfortunately, I believe that “work ethic”, or, that getting up in the morning and getting on your knees and giving God the day and then going to work and giving your best, is a dying philosophy.

Now I know there are a lot of you out there that are unemployed and for that I am sorry but as I have stated in previous blogs, keep your eyes focused on Christ, keep trusting in Him, and He will see you through this trial in your life. In fact, read my previous “You are not Alone” blog post for more of the above. As I was saying, many of you who are unemployed would simply love the opportunity to prove your work ethic but you understand what I am writing about here. We need to teach our children that is imperative they give their best effort, no matter what job they are doing. Remember the Bible talks about Colossians 3:17;
And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
I know, I know, that is BRUTAL sometimes. But as hard as that is to exemplify, as fathers, that’s our job in our homes because our kids are watching us. Show them what’s really inside you. Show them the example of your strong work ethic each day by doing your best at your job and then helping them to understand why they need to do the same thing.

Let me tell you a short story about my eight-year-old son Kendrick. Like many of you, we have a dog at our house who every day, multiple times a day, does her business outside on what used to be my green lawn (sorry, I digress) Kendrick’s job is to take care of the dogs business every Saturday and of course, he forgets, or he doesn’t want to, or he is too busy…You know the drill, kid excuses. One day I sat him down and asked him if he thought he was doing a good job at his Saturday duties and he told me “Yes, he was happy with his effort” (paraphrased) I proceeded to tell him that if he worked for me, I would have to fire him for that “effort, or lack thereof” and that surprised him. Now, you can’t fire your kid so don’t get any ideas, but I did remind him that it’s our job to do our best every time we work…

The same holds true for you and me. As men, it’s our job to not only work hard and give our employer an honest day’s work for an honest day’s pay, but every day, we need to show our kids the same thing. One of the greatest satisfactions for me as a father was getting the opportunity to speak to my oldest son’s former employer and having him tell me he is a hard worker and that he is never worried about leaving him on his own unsupervised because he knew he would still continue to work hard, even when the boss wasn’t around.

Guys, that needs to be our testament to ourselves as men and to our children. I challenge you to build a strong work ethic in your family.

God Bless you guys…

You are Not Alone…

Posted: April 16, 2011 in Father, Husband, Inspirational
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I had lunch with a friend of mine this past week because we hadn’t seen each other in a couple of months and we wanted to reconnect. I knew this particular friend has had a tough go of things lately. He had been in and out of jobs for the last 4 years due to no fault of his own. He was in a business that was simply more susceptible to the economy than most. What struck me though, was how far this guy had fallen. Just so you understand, my friend has a way about him that is infectious. He is FUN to be around and we both enjoy teasing our older kids. Our families enjoy one another…He is an all around great guy however, the guy I had lunch with this week, was NOT the same man. This guy was broken and he is angry at God for constantly being out of work. His children are grown up and away at college so he finds himself alone most of the time which only make matters worse. He told me he still goes to church on Sundays, but he doesn’t listen anymore. He feels as if God has abandoned him…

I know there are a great deal of men, just like my friend, who feel this same way. They continually ask themselves, “whats the point?” “Why am I going through this?”, “ I AM ALONE”.

Guys, as one who has walked in the valley of the shadow of despair at the loss of my only daughter Kylie, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! God will never leave you or forget you! You DO have someone to hold onto during your storm and his name is Jesus Christ. The purpose of this article is to remind…and to encourage you if you happen to be in this place also.

Lets start with the Bible, Gods Word, here on earth, given to us. I’ve heard guys say, “those are just words, what can they do for me right now when I’m in the middle of this?” Trust me, they are not just words, they are power and strength you, and your family, can tap into during the tough times.

Proverbs 3: 5-6 tells us to:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.

What these verses tell me is their will be things that happen in our lives that we won’t understand…It wont make any sense. Can you tell me why God decided to take my beautiful 12-year-old daughter? I don’t get that and I never will but I’ve come to realize that my trying to understand why?…that is NOT my job. My job is to completely trust in Him…even though I don’t understand why. Do you remember the story of Peter when he got out of the boat and started walking on the water to meet Jesus? (Matthew 14:29-30) He was actually walking on water until he took his eyes off of Christ and then what happened? He started sinking fast…and what was his reaction? He cried, “Lord save me!” which is exactly what we are supposed to do…

But maybe that is the crux of the problem. We are guys and we don’t need any help…Isn’t that right? Well I can tell you that David, one of the greatest warriors that ever lived in history, he didn’t feel that way. In fact David ran for his life for over 10 years because Saul was out to kill him but yet he still said this in Psalms 31: 13-14:

For I hear the slander of many; there is terror on every side; they conspire against me and plot to take my life. But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, “You are my God.”

What I am saying is this…Now is the time to set your eyes on Him. Don’t waver. Look up to heaven and say “Lord, I do NOT understand any of this crap that is happening to me. I am struggling mightily with all of this everyday…But I know this, You are on the throne and You don’t make mistakes and even though this (whatever “this” is for you) makes no sense, I am going to keep my eyes fixed on You and my trust completely in You so that whatever happens, we are in this together and we will get through this…together…

Guys, I’m not an evangelist or a Bible scholar who teaches in a university…I’m just a regular guy, like you, trying to make my way in this world. My answers are not scholarly, they are from my heart from reading God’s word and they have helped me during my own pain on this earth. I know many of you out there are hurting and please understand that my words are meant to encourage you. You can make it through this and I will continue to pray that God draws near to you during your time of need…

Be strong my brother…”weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning”…

Yep, you guessed it, David said that too…

Let me leave you with one more thing:

Where Have All the Men Gone?

Posted: March 26, 2011 in Father, Husband
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My 8 year old son asked me to watch a program with him on the Disney channel the other day and so I thought, ”why not?”. “This could be a great Father, son bonding moment right?” so I plopped myself down next to him and we watched his show. 10 minutes into it however, I was shocked! Now, I’m not bagging on Disney, but the father in this show was an idiot, or at least being portrayed as one. He didn’t know anything and his children didn’t respect him. What irritated me the most however, was his relationship with his wife. He was a subservient wimp who required her approval before he could make a decision for his family. He seemed to blunder from one situation to another in front of all of them and his “being a buffoon”, was the central point of humor for the show. The final straw for me was he was NOT the leader of his house, nor could he be, because of the way he was portrayed. No one could, or did, respect him. This actor totally shattered the biblical requirement for men to be the head of their homes. What I thought was a simple Disney sitcom, was a subtle reason why, without a strong fatherly influence, boys grow up and don’t know their role in the family.

Guys, Christian men out there…what are we going to do about this!? We are clearly told in Ephesians 5:22- 6:4 that it is the fathers responsibility to be the head of the house just as Christ is the head of the church. We are called to LOVE our wives and raise our children up in the Lord. The fatherly influence here is both critical for our individual families as well as society. We need the men to be men…not wimps like I witnessed above.

I recently saw a snippet of a morning show where a woman author had written a book called Man Up. The premise of her book was simple, she was analyzing why, in todays society, guys are continuing to act like adolescents well into their forties and she wants to know why?…AND, has taken upon herself to tell the worlds men to MAN UP! Does anyone see a problem here? Society shows our boys through sitcoms, commercials and other media outlets, that its ok to be a wimp that asks for approval every step of the way, or the man “isn’t the only leader in the home” and yet when they grow up to be physically men, they wonder why they don’t know how to be loving husbands and fathers? Well I know the answer to this question…

Husbands, Fathers and Men. I challenge you right now to be, or become, the head of your household. I challenge you to lead by example and be the spiritual leader. I challenge you to read the Bible and pray in your homes. Set your sons…AND your daughters, up for success by YOU, portraying for them each day, how you love your wife and love them too. God set up the family structure this specific way for a reason and Satan is working overtime to mess it up…What are YOU going to do about that in YOUR home? We need men now, more than ever, to be Godly men…I am calling you out!…Remember Proverbs 27:17…As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. NOW IS THE TIME.

Inspired by my Aunt Phyllis…

The Value of Time…

Posted: February 13, 2011 in Father, Husband
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Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

There has been a great deal written on the subject of time and how to manage it properly over the years. Growing up I heard “stop wasting time” and I need to be a “better steward of the time God gives me”. Later on in high school I remember hearing “You all are accountable to me for your time in this class” my teacher told us. I remember thinking he was taking this time thing a little to far…I’m accountable to him…really? But he was right, the time I spent studying for his class I was accountable to him and even more so when I failed a test. Then my “free time” dried up.

What I find ironic is when we make it to adulthood, we are encouraged with song titles like ”Time well wasted” and “Killing Time” which emphasize getting lost in the lack of managing our time. It’s like a switch was flipped and now I’m told forget about managing my time and just relax. So my question is, “Which direction should I go”?, Wasting time or time management? Well, as a responsible adult I think we need to find a spot somewhere in the middle as to how we control the time we are given. But, (and here is the “but” statement) the reality is we completely get caught up in the business of our lives and just forget about the “aah” moments with one another. I know you know what I mean when I refer to an aah moment. That split second of recognition when your little child sees his/hers Santa gifts on Christmas morning or maybe when you sneak up on them and surprise them with a ride on your shoulders or a good tickling. Those are AAh moments to me. Those simple moments in life I can take and be thankful for because nothing in this world can mean more to your child than meaningful time spent with them.

So you say, “great Kent, you have made me feel guilty, what is your point”? My point is very simple, as a father who has lost a child, my whole perspective on time and the moments of life we spend together has changed. Time lost cannot be regained not matter how hard you try. Unfortunately, I now understand the value of time and why moments with our children and family must be treasured because you don’t know when you may have all of it taken from you. One minute your life is great and next you find everything is swept away.

Ok, you say, I’m sorry for your loss but…that doesn’t apply to me. I’m a great parent and enjoy being a parent and spending time with my own children or my spouse. My question to you is Really? Have you actually made that connection in your brain where you said to yourself? “look at what I have in my life, this is awesome” Have you truly realized you should be thankful for what is right in front of you? I know I hadn’t. In fact, even though I had went through a scary time when my daughter was born with hospitalization and surgeries, I had since gone complacent and just took each day as it came never really grasping the actual moments and living them to the fullest…Thanking God for them. Appreciating them for what they were, valuable time.

It is strange to think we don’t take the time because we say we don’t have the time? I encourage you to take today and look at your wife and your kids and just say “thank you God for what you have given me”.

Simply put, appreciate the gifts you have been given. Appreciate the value of time…

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