Archive for the ‘Father’ Category

Life Lessons and Baseball…

Posted: June 30, 2012 in Father, Inspirational, Sports Stuff
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I am one of those lucky Dads who gets to go through Little League a second time because we have a young son that was born when I was a little older. I like Baseball and I like Little League. Baseball, like other sports, teaches kids lessons about life in a symbolic sort of way. It teaches them perseverance, to keep playing hard until the end of the game no matter whether they are winning or losing. It teaches them how to handle the adversity that challenges them throughout a game like when situations don’t go your way. But more importantly, it teaches them how to handle disappointment when a game slips away that you really wanted to win, like a championship tournament. Bottom line, the way kids are taught to learn to play the game of Baseball and to deal with the outcome of difficult games will be evidenced in their future lives by how they handle situations then…

But it all starts with a game…

As I mentioned before, I am going through Little League a second time with my second boy but because I am older now, my perspective on what is happening out there has changed. Don’t hear me wrong, I want to win every time we step onto that field but I’ve learned that I care more about what kids get out of the game along with the effort that they put into the game. Let me explain;

My goal, along with the other coaches, is to teach proper fundamentals of baseball; how to hit, how to throw, how to run bases, how to catch and then the best part, the situational aspect of baseball…In other words, What to do with the ball when it comes to you…The cerebral side of the game is the most fun for me because baseball is very much like a chess match between the two managers. Each one moving players to different positions and inserting players in order to put both the player and the team with the best chance for winning or make the most impact on the score…I understandI am explaining something you already know because that is the strategical side of baseball. Some people get this and some don’t care…

What’s different for me now is because I’m older, I care about the effect this game has on them. Simply speaking, like when good things happen during a game but i think more importantly, when bad things happen, like when the game gets out of hand… Because games produce adversity and losses are very hard to handle and if kids don’t learn how to “flush” a loss out of their head right away, they tend to drag it around like an anchor, always slowing them down and frankly, just making them sad.

I recently went though Little League’s, Tournament of Champions tournament for the minor division, ages 9-11 and I experienced the feeling of absolute euphoria as one of our boys hit a walk off grand slam to win the final championship game. Honestly, a once in a lifetime experience to come up to bat, down two runs with bases loaded and send one out of the park…incredibly amazing. Our team, along with the coaches, were able to experience the excitement of winning that game with everything on the line. This was truly..a win, or go home situation…but yet at the very same time, I began to put myself in the other dugout and wonder the magnitude of their feeling of loss. Needless to say, the post game handshake was filled with many tears as I went through telling each member of their team, “great job” I realized it was to no avail. They were inconsolable at that moment and as I watched their coach lead them to the outfield to have one more post game chat, I realized how critical his job was for those boys to help them deal with that loss. Honestly, they did everything right…they put themselves in a position to win but you can’t overcome home runs. It was checkmate.

So let’s bring this baseball game analogy to you and I…We have all played the games on the field our entire lives and now we are challenged with the game of life. Every single day we have ups and downs and as adults, we can’t let a business loss wreck our focus. I recently watched an attorney friend of mine lose a very difficult case in court, one that he prepared for, spent a great deal of time and money to win but he lost the judge’s decision…completely. Right now, my friend is a small ship floating alone in the big ocean. So far, he is unable to shake this defeat and move on…He can’t overcome the loss…

God never promised any of us that if we commit to Him there wouldn’t be any loss, pain or discomfort…but He did say there is rest and relief through Christ Jesus. In fact, Christ himself tells all of us in Matthew 11:28-30:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

To me, this verse helps because I know I am NOT alone on days when I feel like those boys did above after losing that big tournament game. Can you imagine finding peace or just simple rest when you’ve had your worst day ever? And guys, the peace and rest I am referring to here isn’t like anything you have ever felt before…

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7

Heavenly peace is WAY better and more effective than anything we have here on earth. Granted, the Bible tells us we have to seek Him…which means we have to DO something…we can’t just sit on our hands and expect Him to just fix our problems, otherwise how can we learn?

So my challenge to you today is simple. Teach your children how to overcome game losses and then translate that to your own life. Don’t let adversity or failure stop you from reaching the goals God has for you! If you get bucked off…get up, dust yourself off and get back on…

Do me one more favor, hold on tight, because it’s going to be a WILD RIDE!!

Until next time guys…

God will Judge Men’s Secrets?

Posted: June 2, 2012 in Father, Husband
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So the other day I was reading from the book of Romans. I really haven’t spent much time in that particular book in a few years actually but while reading I came across a scripture that hit me very hard…like a brick in the side if the head hard…one that affects all of us…

This will take place on the day when God will judge mens secrets through Jesus Christ, as my gospel declares.    Romans 2:16

Now I can say that most of us rarely think about these things because maybe we don’t know, or we are focused on the here and now…either way, this kind of verse typically isn’t at the forefront of our minds…I understand that fact and I’m right there with you. Life gets in the way.

I also know that we guys…well…our minds are typically running 100-mph right? We are thinking of “guy stuff” like our work, kids, wife, vacation, yard work, that cute receptionist…It’s true and you might as well admit that our brains roam all over the place and at times, into areas we know we shouldn’t be…Areas that can get us into trouble. One more thing I will say is we can’t use the excuse “we are guys are we are wired that way and we can’t help it” NO…I am not buying that one. You DO have a choice…you DO have control.

Now before I go any further, let me tell you I am NOT judging anyone of you out there. I personally fight the same battles as you and continue to do my best as I navigate through this world but yet when I came across that verse I was compelled to write because we, collectively as men, need to remember…you will be judged on your actions, YOUR THOUGHTS, and YOUR SECRETS…That one blew me away when I read it because i have always thought that my secrets are MINE just like your secrets are yours. No one else knows and that’s why they are called secrets. The problem we all have is now they aren’t secret anymore….God not only knows about them, but He is planning on judging us accordingly…OUCH.

So why do I write this today? Here is how I see this issue…when things are out of our sight, we just don’t think about them. Maybe some of you never even knew that verse even existed…but wherever you fall on the scale know this, the reason I write is to make you aware…to get you to think that what you have done, what you are doing, and what you will do, ALL MATTER to God and you and me, will some day be held accountable for our secrets. That matters to me and I hope it does to you as well. By knowing, or simply becoming aware, you can adjust and try to do better for yourself. We all have to make course corrections periodically on this journey we call life. It’s just the way it is…

This one certainly has affected me and I hope it will do the same for you…

Until next time guys…

Have You forgotten who you are?

Posted: March 11, 2012 in Father, Husband, Inspirational
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I like Country Music. OK there I said it. I know, I know, I’m kinda strange in that way but I can’t help it. Sometimes country music just hits me in my core. I was listening to one of those country songs recently and the singer sang about needing to return to the house where she grew up because as an adult, she had lost her way. Or, as she sang, “I’ve forgotten who I am”. That line got me thinking of how easy it is for people to lose their way in this world and forget who they are. To me, Christian’s are unique because of, as I call it, their ” Heavenly citizenship” advantages, which gives them opportunities of success that non-Christians do not have. What happens though is we forget, or we lose focus and we no longer set our sights on God but rather make our decisions based on what we SEE and NOT on whats inside us. From experience when this happens, we WILL lose our way and that is the reason for this post…Have you forgotten who you are?

I can identify with the above and see this as a pattern in my own life…you are moving along in life and maybe things are going relatively well, meaning, no significant problems to speak of, and then something bad happens. This “problem”, or whatever it is, causes you to get distracted and then “out of sync” in your relationship with God, and before you know it, time has passed and you are relying on YOU to solve the mess you are in…Does that scenario sound familiar with anyone or am I the only one that thinks this way?

I always keep coming back to what causes me to get off track? If you have a relationship with Christ, why does one get “out of sync” with Him? I know we are targets of Satan while we live in this world and I hope that statement is not new to you. I believe Satan uses “busyness” and “mayhem” in our lives to completely distract us from our focus on Christ. The question is, can we recognize this when it ‘s happening to us and do something about it before too much time passes? Guys, I am talking about you personally as well as your relationships with your wife and kids. When you are out of sync with God, all of the aforementioned are affected in the wrong way. When you are going through this period, YOU are a different person and therefore you treat your family different…THAT is what I am trying to help you avoid…HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN WHO YOU ARE?

I mentioned earlier about your heavenly citizenship advantages…I wanted to explain that further so all of you know what you have to tap into when you find yourself in that position. The good news is, there are a whole lot of scriptures in the Bible that deal with these issues. In fact, all of Paul’s letters in the New Testament have an overwhelming theme of reminding us who we are in Christ…and that is the most security anyone of us could have in this world. Did you know when you became a Christian you experienced a status change? You became a child of God. Please don’t say…Yea, Yea, Yea at this point, I have heard this before…Listen to this verse:

Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God’s people and members of God’s household, (Ephesians 2:19 NIV)

As a result of your salvation, YOU are a member of Gods household. Guys, I hope you are hearing me. That membership, that status change, means something. You are wired for heaven now. Read this verse from the Message translation:

For instance, we know that when these bodies of ours are taken down like tents and folded away, they will be replaced by resurrection bodies in heaven-God-made, not handmade – and we’ll never have to relocate our “tents” again. Sometimes we can hardly wait to move-and so we cry out in frustration. Compared to what’s coming, living conditions around here seem like a stopover in an unfurnished shack, and we’re tired of it! We’ve been given a glimpse of the real thing, our true home, our resurrection bodies! The Spirit of God whets our appetite by giving us a taste of what’s ahead. He puts a little of heaven in our hearts so that we’ll never settle for less. (2 Corinthians 5:1, 2, 5 MSG)

What I am saying is this, you have a future in heaven because of your salvation in Christ, yet you still have to live out your life on this earth and that sometimes can be what dooms us. We allow the things we see to overwhelm us and cause us distraction and confusion. You may or may not see this until it’s to late. God gave us the Holy Spirit to tap into during these times. His purpose…is to remind you who you are…you are a part of the household of God. You are NOT alone on the road of life without any options. Just tap into the things you do not see…

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. (Hebrews 11:1 NIV)

Yep, faith DOES play a role in this and with it applied in your life, you can trust that the next step you take…will be on solid ground.

So my question is this, Have you forgotten who you are? Well just in case it slipped your mind…Let me remind you that with salvation, comes a ticket into Heaven and membership into God’s household, and that is the greatest reminder of all…

Until next time guys…


Childlike Faith…in a Grown Man?

Posted: January 15, 2012 in Father, Inspirational, Tough Times
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Many years ago I worked for a company that decided they wanted to improve the teamwork amongst their management group. The ownership believed there were some folks in positions that didn’t play well together which makes for a difficult work environment. As a result, the owners decided to send the entire management team to a 2 day bonding experience high in the mountains. Personally, I had a great time because the majority of these challenges were  physical and very self challenging. For example, we got to scale a 100 foot tree and then repel back to the ground. But the exercise that truly impacted me, as well as the rest of us, was the fall back challenge. I remember standing up on a small 4 ft. high stand facing away from the group. The objective was for me to simply fall backward and trust that the group standing behind me, would catch me. As it turned out, I did fall and they did catch me, but for that split second, I wondered if they could handle my weight or what if there needed to be more people to catch me? All of those concerns ran through my mind right before I let go…

Now I know this is a very simple example of what I am trying to illustrate here but I think it will work. What if those questions I mentioned earlier never crossed my mind for this reason…because there was never any question that my teammates would catch me? What if I had NO fear and complete trust they would be there for me? What kind of relationship would I have had with them in order to have that kind of faith in them? That is exactly the kind of faith I marvel at when I look at the example of young David as he prepared to face the giant, Goliath. Fear was never the issue in his mind whereas any other soldier, it was paralyzing. He absolutely knew that when he stepped onto that battlefield he would be victorious…with no doubt whatsoever…total childlike faith in his God. I believe that even if Goliath would have had a Howitzer on that day, David would have beat him.

This is what David told Saul the King below:

The Lord who delivered me from the paw of the Lion and the paw of the Bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine.”

1 Samuel 17:37

So how does one come to that kind of faith in God? What did David do or for that matter, what did God do in order for David to believe in him with such utter childlike dependence? Can you imagine if you approached your own Christian walk like that? No matter what you attempted, your faith in God was so solid with the knowledge that he would catch you if you fell…The kind of faith that is almost as natural as breathing…its just automatic.

Guys, all of us face challenges and adversity everyday both at work AND at home. I would also be safe in saying that some of those challenges are almost beyond what we can bear…I challenge you today to face your life’s challenges as David did without fear and ready to believe in what God has for you. I certainly will not say it will all be glorious and wonderful by any means…but what I can tell you is that faith in Him is truly sustaining. We WILL make it through our trials and challenges because we believe HE will overcome for us…just like he did for David. I assure you that when David got up that morning, he had no idea that he would be fighting the largest human being on earth. Honestly, getting to know David after some study, I would say that he got up that morning,  knelt down, prayed and said, “Let’s  do this!” and headed off to face his day…

So guys, let’s get excited everyday in anticipation of what God has in store for us…and when the going gets tough…keep in mind that what God did for David…he will do for you!!!

Until next time Guys…

The Real Definition of Wealth…

Posted: January 1, 2012 in Father, Husband, Inspirational
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Over the last few years, the holidays have caused me to reflect back and look at my own life and count my many blessings. I have been more aware of “life’s moments” since the loss of my daughter a few years back. Recently, I spent time  with a man who I don’t see very often because of distance and as I call it, his “self estrangement” from his family because of his desire to be alone and pursue his own desires. Now wait just a minute…what man wouldn’t want to pursue his own passions? We are guys and passions i.e. our hobbies, are what we do, am I right? My friend’s “problem” is that he isn’t alone. He moved in with a woman a few years back and then proceeded to have a beautiful little baby with her. Now you will notice I said “problem” earlier when referring to his new family and is the reason I write this blog post. His complaints about his personal situation caused me to realize how wealthy he is RIGHT NOW, and he doesn’t see it.

Our conversation began about creativity because he is a talented artist, sculptor and more. He is one of those people who see art in everything and when he puts his mind to a project, I have been stunned to see his results. Since I’ve known him, I have come to see him as a creative person with a free spirit. Unfortunately as he puts it, he hasn’t “created” any new “pieces of art” in a long time due to his new-found responsibilities with his girl friend and new child. In my opinion, most new dads find a way around these home responsibilities if they truly want to do whatever their passion is, HE…has chosen to become bitter towards his family. THEY are the reason he cannot pursue what he wants to do and he sees his girl friend and child as obstacles in life’s journey. As I listened to him explain the “journey” he is navigating and why he never has the time to pursue his creativity, I couldn’t help commenting on how much of an inspiration his young daughter must be to him? Here is this little gleam of sunshine, innocence, and just pure beauty and yet he does not see her that way. From the outside looking in, I ask What is standing in his way and blocking him from seeing what seems so clear and obvious to me? What is robbing him of the joy of being a father?

In this life, what could be more important than your wife and child? Again, I recognize I have this opinion because my perspective is different from most men because when you lose a child it changes you…forever. I’m sure you have heard the expression, “walk a mile in another mans shoes?” In my conversation with him, I tried to convey what he is missing by dragging all this bitterness around. He has a beautiful little girl right there in front of him and it doesn’t phase him. Myself, a dad who lost his only daughter, can’t get through to him and emphasize his incredible blessing! He is a grown man who is unwilling to listen to my words about being unbelievably blessed with wealth by heavenly standards…I pray that he will discover that knowledge soon…before she is gone from his life.

Here is my question to you? Do you look at your own family and understand what I mean by true wealth? I think it is pretty clear I am not referring to your bank account. I am speaking to what I believe is really important in our lives. True wealth here on Earth is not measured in dollars and cents. Now I absolutely agree that We, (all of us guys), have our hobbies and personal pursuits that are just ours and yes, I do struggle with my own “time” issue. Trying to balance our personal life with work and family isn’t easy and there are a whole lots of books written on that subject to back me up. I am also NOT inferring I have it all together because I do not…But what I DO understand is that I am wealthy beyond measure… just like I know you are as well.

Guys, I encourage you to take a look at your family through different eyes, God’s eyes. Look at them for what they truly are…your legacy…and your true wealth…

Until next time…

8 Lessons All Dads Should Teach Their Kids…

Posted: November 10, 2011 in Father, Inspirational
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I found this article recently on MensHealth.com and I liked it a great deal. Anytime I can find information that has quality advice about growing up quality men, I will pass it on to you all. Yes, there will be a test at the end. It’s called life. Here’s how to make sure your kids ace it. Enjoy…

Words are Valuable

Speak up: Your kid is listening. In families with two working parents, fathers have a greater impact on their children’s language development by age 3 than mothers do, according to a study in the Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology. Provide a creative, dramatic play-by-play of the activities you’re engaged in and your surroundings. Use big words, even if they’re unfamiliar to your kid. Children learn a lot by context.

Tantrums Earn You Nothing

“When your anxiety visibly rises, you add fuel to the fire,” says Hal Edward Runkel, a family therapist and the author of ScreamFree Parenting. And if you simply hand over a piece of candy, you encourage more bad behavior. Instead, when your kid starts shouting, be calm and attentive. Don’t ignore it. This signals that you will not be rattled and the child won’t win—ever. It may not work for the first tantrum, warns Runkel, but it’s magic by the fifth.

Competition Leads to Confidence

Children as young as 4 begin to compete with their parents—sprinting to the car, wrestling on the sofa, and stuff like that. Roll with it. Let them win a lot, and then slowly ramp it up so they have to work harder for their victories. “It’s a way for kids to develop a sense of strength and to let them test their muscles,” says Justin Richardson, M.D., who teaches psychiatry at Columbia University. They’ll start to walk more confidently and be less of a mark for bullies.

Quitting is Hard

When his son wanted to quit baseball at age 8, Runkel said to him, “Sure, but you have to tell your teammates and coach.” The boy couldn’t do it. He’s played for 7 years since. Show kids the pain of quitting, and they won’t make those kinds of decisions lightly, Runkel says. “If your kid says a school project is too hard and that he wants to give up, that’s okay,” says Runkel. “But say, ‘Tell your teacher you’re quitting and that you’ll take whatever grade is appropriate.’ Trust me, he’ll stick it out.”

Other People’s Feelings Matter

It’s easier to connect with others if you understand their perspective, so nurture that instinct in your child. Start with the child’s own feelings. “Say, ‘Man, it must be hard being 8 years old. What’s the hardest part?’ ” suggests Runkel. Then mention people your kid knows who is having a hard time—say, a friend whose dad lost his job. Ask what he thinks it’s like for that friend. “They won’t always have an answer, but they’re thinking about it,” Runkel says.

Fights Can Be Resolved

Unless one kid is dangling the other out the window, don’t say a word. “As soon as you become involved, they no longer care about a solution. They’ll only try drafting you to their side,” says child psychologist Anthony Wolf, Ph.D., the author of Mom, Jason’s Breathing on Me! The Solution to Sibling Bickering. If they pester you, say your solution will be bad for both of them. They’ll learn that pleading is fruitless. More importantly, they’ll learn quickly to compromise.

Independence is Earned

When your kids ask to stay later at a friend’s house, ask what time would work for them. Then ask why. If you don’t hear a good answer, it’s okay to say no. If you do, try it, says Pennsylvania-based psychologist Janet Edgette, Psy.D. When parents give children freedom and responsibility, studies show, the children develop stronger morals more quickly.

Success Requires Focus

Maybe you don’t wish for a prodigy, but our competitive society suggests otherwise. That’s why so many kids have trouble focusing, says C. Andrew Ramsey, M.D., a psychiatry professor at Columbia University. Make sure your kids know your expectations. Celebrate improvement first. And explain the value of slow mastery. “Whether your kids love Tom Brady or Beyoncé, let them know that these people succeeded because they mastered one skill,” says Dr. Ramsey. “Learn to go through one door and many others will open for you; try to go through five doors at once and you’ll go nowhere.”

Until next time guys…

God is God and I am not…

Posted: October 7, 2011 in Father, Heaven Bound, Inspirational
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I have always enjoyed the carefully worded answers that new coaches give when speaking to the media about how they plan on turning around a poorly performing football or baseball program; “We are going back to the basics” or “We are starting again with the fundamentals of this game, blocking and tackling, etc.” They always say the same thing because they want their players to forget about the past and focus on the present. New coaches don’t want memories of bad seasons to haunt their new message of a new beginning. I understand why coaches speak this way, which is why I think this same method will work for this blog post as well. I believe we need to get back to the fundamentals of how God intended our relationship to be with Him. I think God had a different plan for interacting with humans than what we see in our world today…So let us begin there…

I have always been fascinated by the dozens of times the phrase “Fear of God” or “Fear of the Lord” is mentioned in the Bible. I can say from experience that if the Bible mentions the same subject repeatedly, you might want to pay attention, it’s probably important. As is the case here, the Bible tells us:

The Fear of God is the beginning of wisdom…(Proverbs 9:10)

The Lord has compassion on those who fear Him (Psalms 103:13)

Moses even told us in Psalms “Who knows the power of your anger? For your wrath is a great as the fear that is due you.” (Psalms 90:11)

Now I think we can assume that the wrath of God is beyond anything we can imagine because we have never seen His wrath personally. So if Moses says His wrath is as great as the fear due Him? then I think we humans are extremely “out-of-balance” in our relationship with the Almighty. In other words, do you fear God or even think about fearing Him as a part of your daily life? Has that thought ever crossed your mind before? If it hasn’t, well I am not surprised, because that lack of understanding of who God really is, I believe is the core problem and why I am writing this post now. This is what I meant earlier about returning to the fundamentals of our faith because I believe this society is lacking a healthy “reverent fear of God” (1 Peter 1:17).

I am suggesting that we either have forgotten who God is or we never really understood our relationship with Him in the first place. Unfortunately, I fear the latter is more accurate. To take this thought a step further, when the idea of God is lowered to our human level, then life becomes very hard to live out the way He intended because it is difficult to “Fear Him” if we perceive ourselves to be on the same level with Him…Like He is your “buddy”.

A.W. Tozer, the theologian said, It is impossible to keep our moral practices sound and our inward attitudes right while our idea of God is erroneous or inadequate. He also said It is my opinion that the Christian conception of God current in these middle years of the 20th century is so decadent as to be utterly beneath the dignity of the Most High God and actually to constitute for professed believers something amounting to a moral calamity.

Now I understand that times have changed even from when he wrote these words in 1961 and I agree our society is completely different from what it was back then, but I think Tozer’s point still resonates…We have drifted our focus from Him to all of the “really important projects” we deal with every day. When we are absent from Him, we are not close to Him. What I am suggesting to you, is going back to the fundamentals. Take a few quiet minutes each day to pause, pray, and reflect on God and who he is. The impact of this time will be mind-blowing and LIFE CHANGING…

You probably think I’m nuts and I can understand that because seriously, how can anyone take the time and do what I am suggesting? I mean who has the time? My answer is this; if you can just slow down long enough to grasp even a microscopic understanding of the Almighty God, how HUGE He is and how small we are…and yet He cares for you, He loves you because you’re YOU…This concept is so very hard to get our minds around because it is NOT what we hear in the world but I assure you, IT will change your life forever…

The overwhelming impact of this knowledge is we realize how selfish we have been for not enjoying our time with Him regularly…the Magnificent Creator who simply wants to hear from us…

I challenge you! Take the baton from me and run with it!

I have never been more sure of anything in my life…your efforts will NOT return void…

Until next time…

Wisdom of a Legacy from a 12 year old girl

Posted: September 17, 2011 in Father, Inspirational
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If you have ever read any of my blog before, then you know I am a guy who lost his only daughter to a heart problem when she was 12 years old. So why do I mention this again? Well, having gone through an experience like this with a child, I can tell you first hand that it changes a man…forever. I do not think in the same manner as I did before. I certainly don’t take family opportunities for granted, I soak them up with my eyes and enjoy every second of them…But why start off a blog post in this fashion? I often think about my daughter Kylie’s legacy having only been on this earth for 12 years. I remember listening and reading to the overwhelming outpouring of love and affection towards her and I was stunned at what people said about her. She made such a huge impact in only 12 years and as time has passed, I almost feel like I didn’t know that side of her. She was impacting people everyday and I never knew. But I can easily say that her life mattered because she made a difference to the people she touched everyday, myself included.

Even now, 7 years removed from her passing, I still marvel at who she was at such a young age which got me to thinking about my own legacy and what I will be remembered for. We have all heard the expression “you only get one chance to make a first impression”. Well over the years I have made many first impressions, some of which I wish I could perform a “do over” because they were so pathetic. But it is because of these missed chances that I began to wonder what I could have given that person about who I am as a believer that they never received from me. For that moment, I blew the chance God gave me and I probably will never see that person again. God intended me to give them something, a kind word, an ear to listen…and I didn’t. These examples are the kind of chances that legacy’s are born from. People like Kylie, who take full advantage of these chance opportunities without any fear as to what others might think or say about them. I believe God continuously brings impromptu moments into our lives for reasons we do not know. He knows you have something this person needs and all we need to do is to be who we are, but we don’t and that person moves on and God assigns the task to another person in another circumstance.

So we have all these chances over a lifetime that will build a legacy of who we are. There is a country song by Aaron Tippin that says “You’ve got stand for something or you’ll fall for anything” which means when you make up your mind to stand for something, that strong stance changes those encounters. Here is my point illustrated; Kylie was only 12 years old, but her relationship with Christ resembled that of an older person. She believed in Jesus Christ and she stood solid for Him so as a result, her daily opportunities to make first impressions revolved around who she was in Christ which meant if you met her for the first time, you knew who she stood for and that became her legacy.

Now I know as guys we don’t go around thinking of things like this much but as I said, I am a changed man as a result of my experience with her. But I am asking you today to consider the wisdom of a 12-year-old girl for your own future. Consider standing strong for Christ in your own daily walk and let Him guide and direct you while you build your own legacy. I can honestly say that I hope my legacy isn’t business or sports but rather how I affected the people I met throughout my lifetime. Did I impact them for Christ? Did I accomplish the task Christ intended with our chance encounter? If I can pull that off, I would be a happy guy…

All of this I learned from a crazy little girl who lives in heaven…Thanks Kylie…

Until next time guys…Live with Ironman Strength…

This is going to Hurt me more than its going to Hurt you?

Posted: September 5, 2011 in Father, Inspirational, Just for Fun
Tags: , , , , ,
0

When I was a kid I had a tendency to get into trouble. Things just kind of happened and I’m not completely clear, even now, why I always seemed to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Typically though, I would end up having that inevitable conversation with my father that always ended with his infamous line, “this is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you”…and that is where this story begins…

If you’re like me, and I’m sure you are, you have had to take out the garbage sometime in your life. In fact, for some of you, that particular job may still be apart of your weekly routine. Nevertheless, that job was apart of my chore list when I was a kid growing up in Phoenix, Arizona back in the 70’s. What I remember about doing that job was the long distance I would have to carry the bags just to reach the trash cans. Apparently, my parents enjoyed the daily torture of watching my brother and I make the daily journey across the desert landscape, empty the trash, and then make it back alive before we melted in the summer heat. I remember one particular day when I had gotten home from school and was starting my chore list when I noticed 5 extra bags sitting by the back door. Upon questioning my Mom, she told me “they were filled with glass jars she no longer needed and wanted them gone”. I remember groaning because this meant 2 or 3 extra trips just to finish my regular job and of course my brother wasn’t any where around to help…

Then I got a great idea and decided to use our toy wagon, we kept outside, to carry some of these heavy bags all the way out to the trash barrels which ultimately worked great. On my second and final trip, the real idea (and our story) popped right into my head…To this day I have no idea why that thought came to me, but when it did, it was just too much to pass up.

What I decided to do, was instead of just putting all the bags into the barrels like everyone else, why not throw all of the jars over the fence and try to make baskets into the cans? I mean why not take a daily, painful, chore and have some fun with it? Now I will tell you, that as an adult, I wish I would have maybe considered actually where the trash barrels were sitting on the other side of the fence as well as jar trajectory prior to beginning my glass tossing deluge but apparently I did not think that was important at the time… I began tossing small, medium and monster size glass jars over the fence and waiting to hear them fall into the cans. I should also probably say at this time being only 8 years old, I guess I also didn’t know what glass hitting the trash barrels sounded like because I just kept throwing them over the fence…

Meanwhile, my mother came to the kitchen window and happened to see my, exercise in 8-year-old fun, occurring and she erupted just like a volcano would. She burst out of the house at warp speed hurdling tricycles and the dog to frankly, break a land speed record to get to the back gate where I was. I must also say that before she reached me, her screaming for me to stop caused me to turn around from my game to witness how much of an athlete I didn’t know my Mom was. Of course, there was the proverbial, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING!” comment, but before I could answer, she moved around me towards the gate. At this point, time seemed to slow down because I remember as she pushed the gate open, being surprised there wasn’t any glass near my target but as my gaze lifted upward, then I was awestruck. All of the glass was not by the barrels, but out in the middle of the street next to our house. At the center point of the asphalt, there was 6 inches of broken glass. It was an amazing sight from my point of view but not from my Mom’s. She immediately kicked into an even faster speed and moved around me before I could speak. She yelled, “stay there!” until she returned. I heard her yell for my brother as she raced back to the house and returning just minutes later with brooms and dust pans. As we started to clean up, my little brother arrived to help. I remember him just standing there totally awestruck at the sight of all that broken glass. But then he said, “ You are in SOOOOO much trouble”, which up until that point, I hadn’t made that connection. I was going to have to face Dad about this incident and it might be bad. I decided to test the water with mom and ask her…her response told me all I didn’t want to hear…”I am so mad at you that your Father is going to have to deal with this disaster”…

We worked for a good half hour and finally got the street clean enough for cars to pass through so when we headed back towards the house, all she said was, “go to your room and wait for your father” Of course that’s just plain torture as far as I can tell because it might be hours before he came home, I mean I was 8, and had no concept of time. Of course shortly thereafter, I heard the distinct sound of his car pulling into our drive way…The car door opening and shutting, the house door opening and shutting..and then my mom yelling…KENNY!!!!!…I knew then I was toast. From my room, I could hear her talking but couldn’t understand what she was saying. I’m sure it was like, “your son did the most despicable thing ever today; he needs to be publicly humiliated or publicly flogged”…I don’t know, I WAS 8! Those are the kinds of things 8-year-old boys think…Then I heard my Dad say something and there was this really…long…pause….For a fleeting second I thought maybe I might get off the hook because the pause was still going on…Then it happened; and I still don’t know how he came all the way from the kitchen to my room with out me hearing him. Was my Dad part Indian or something? All I remember was all of a sudden, my bedroom door opened and in he walked. He was wearing his white shirt and tie. I noticed he had taken off his jacket and figured that gave him more mobility to hit me harder…(I actually thought that by the way). He sat down on my bed and looked at me and just shook his head. “Not good” I thought…not good. I decided I should say something and started to speak but he just waved me off. He said, “son, this one is just too much for excuses…You went too far…You must be punished”…He stood up and started taking off his belt. I thought, “I wish I would have put that book in my pants like my brother did once”… then he said the line, ”Son, this is going to hurt me more than its going to hurt you…” I thought, “really Dad?, really?, Do you want to change places to test your theory?” Ok, Ok, that last line is adult commentary all these years later…and had I said that at the time…well…its a good thing I was a kid and didn’t know any better…

So I went on to take my lumps and paid my dues for that days decision to have fun with my chores but as an adult, I look back on that day with fond memories and because of that HUGE lesson I learned…

;

;

What if I had used the Magic Johnson hook shot instead?e

Letter to my Son, the College Graduate…

Posted: May 25, 2011 in Father, Inspirational
Tags: , , , , ,
2

Almost 22 years ago, God blessed me with a son of my very own. When I was growing up, I wanted to be the father of a son because I thought I could better connect with a boy however when my daughter was born, everything changed. Maybe wanting a boy first wasn’t so strange because I have known other fathers who, while waiting for children of their own, felt the same way I had. 

Nevertheless, when you were born son, I was the happiest guy on the planet. People laughed at me when I got you your first baseball glove at your one-year-old birthday party. Why are you looking at me like that? I had to get you thinking about baseball, right? As you began to grow, I could see that you had a natural affinity to play the game as well as be a busybody. You weren’t a “sit still” type of kid and that was just fine with me because I wouldn’t have had you any other way.

When I look back on your young life, I see the amazing things that happened to you that still cause me to shake my head. While some of them involve sports and your individual performances, many of them involve how I saw you react and behave as you were growing up to be the quality man you are today. 

I wish God allowed our memories to be forever clear no matter how old we get but that is just not the case. We lose some along the way but hopefully remember the ones that are the most meaningful to us. I also think God allows some of the painful ones to disappear but I digress, I am talking to you, the Biola University graduate. 

The same guy who has persevered these last 4 years to make it to this great day. The day when you get to walk across that podium, wearing cap and gown, and receive that diploma and say “I did it!” But I would be remiss if I didn’t take the time and speak just a little about what it means to me to be your Dad.

Every Dad wants their son to grow up and be successful, but sometimes the road traveled can be more than many can bear. Life isn’t easy as our family has personally experienced the tragic loss of your sister, but yet from my vantage point, you stood your ground and fought the fight of grief that was presented to you. I know that fight is not over, but yet you carry your load with dignity and for that, I applaud you son because that is not an easy task. But let’s talk some more about you…

I want to go back for a moment and remind you of some things I remember from your life…

  • Do you remember that basketball game you played in the sixth grade where you couldn’t miss a shot? Do you remember how the referee stopped the game and asked you to send some luck his way because of the night of shooting you were having? I may be wrong, but didn’t you score 30 points that night? I still laugh in amazement.
  • Do you remember your performance as a high school senior in the city-wide Lions Tournament? In 5 games, you batted over .700? Your team won and you were voted the MVP of the whole tournament.
  • Do you remember all the big roles you had in the musical productions you were in 5th and 6th grade?
  • Do you remember making the All-Star team your first year in Little League and working so hard that they made you a starter over the older boys?

In my mind, those are great memories but it’s even more gratifying to see you now, a University graduate about to set out on your journey of life. You have learned to work hard because as you have seen, good grades don’t magically appear…they are earned. You have had to learn to multi-task to be successful in college and that talent will serve you well in life.

You have learned to live away from your mom and me from day one, which I know was important to you; to establish your own identity at college. Guess what? You succeeded. During your college career, you persisted, and now as a senior, what is it like having the freshman look up to you?

Over the last 4 years you have dealt with and persevered through car problems, girl problems, priority issues, homework, late nights, early mornings, roommates, crazy roommates, loneliness, grief, exhaustion, money problems, parents, distance, loyalty, laundry, cooking, cleaning, deadlines, fear, relationships, and the list goes on…all of this while maintaining your integrity. 

For all of these reasons and many more, I tell you son that as your father, I could not be any prouder of you than I am right now. Did you make mistakes? Yep, and we all do (and continue to do so) but yet you kept and (keep) on getting back up and forging ahead. Your uncle calls that fortitude, or having “gravel in your gut”…and I agree with him. That “never say die” mentality is what will propel you to success in any goal you set your eyes on reaching.

So here is my advice to achieve a satisfying life…

No matter what LIFE throws in your path. No matter what pain you may have to bear. No matter what suffering you may have to endure, or hardships…OR likewise…no matter what successes you may enjoy. 

No matter what happiness you may be blessed with…NEVER, EVER take your eyes off of Jesus Christ. 

For you to endure anything in your future son, either good or bad, you must trust in Him even when your mind says to do something else. As I have learned through the death of your sister, sometimes we are not meant to understand the “why” part, our job is to trust Him completely…your job, as the future head of your home, is to trust Him completely as well…

22 years ago, God blessed me with a son and he grew up to be you. You. Well, you turned out to be an amazing blessing and I believe with all my heart that God has awesome things planned for you. Just take that first step, just like you have always done…

I Love You Son and I am truly blessed that God chose me to be your Father…

Your Dad

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