I lost my father a week ago and I am still reeling from it. Unfortunately, I am very well acquainted with loss after having lost my daughter, but this loss is very different. Unlike my daughter, my father has been with me my whole life. He has been with me through the highs, like marriage and the birth of my children, and through the lows, as with the loss of my daughter.
My father has ALWAYS been there.
I could call him anytime I wanted and he would always take the call. He never was too busy for me or any one of my children. If I needed him to show up somewhere; He did…He never complained he just “did” and that kind of support and unwavering commitment is just such a tremendous loss it is hard to put into words.
I am sure many of you have lost your parents so my words are not new to you. The process of grief can be long and something we cannot avoid. Mine is a daily hammer of a reminder that he is gone and never returning to this life. Therefore, my life will never be the same again. That statement, as true as it is, is where one starts the process of grief and then I found that over time, you work your way into what I have always called, the new version of normal.
In other words, and for me, what does my life look like without my dad in it?
Guys, I do not mean to take anyone down my rabbit hole with this post. Especially, in your own journey if you have conquered your version of your new normal. If you made it that far, I congratulate you…because some people never do and that impacts them in ways they can’t quite understand.
For me personally, I go back to my previous grief journey with my daughter and look at what helped me back then move through each step as best I can.
One of those areas I looked at was the person who left us. What I mean is, was that person suffering? And if yes, then there is solace in knowing that they are suffering no longer. They are free from that finally and that helped me when I thought about him lying there.
The second area I looked at was their destination. In other words, as a Christian man…I fully recognize that my father is with God in Heaven. Again, for me personally, I have absolutely 100% confidence in telling you that I know exactly where my father is right now and also who he is with. When you take the time to develop that idea for yourself, where your loved one actually is, there is truly a peace that comes which is exactly what you need.
Finally, in my short blog version, you help pick up the pieces for those who are left. In my case, my mother is left to transition her own path of grief from living with someone for over 65 years to being alone. Yes, that is an incredibly lonely and overwhelming feeling to overcome so my family and friends are critical, but so is her own relationship with God.
Guys, this cannot be overstated enough; you, me, anyone who serves God is not left on an island to fend for themselves while on this path of grief. God does not desert you…honestly, that is when He is the closest to you. But remember, relationships go 2 ways.
In other words, as Jeremiah 29: 13 says,
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
In your moments of pain and loss, if you truly seek Him, you will find Him…IF you seek Him with all of your heart. This is truth.
If you are suffering a loss like I am, please don’t go it alone. Whether you have family or friends or both, do not forget your Heavenly Father because the peace He brings is like nothing else on this earth.
Dad…you will always be in my heart. I miss you.
Until next time Guys-
